Tuesday, August 13, 2013

It’s Over

It’s over. Done. Finished. Kaput.  We waited nine long months and then it is over in a blink of an eye. I’m so sad. I can hardly contain myself. Where did it go? I planned. I made lists. I tried my best to drag it out and make it last as long as possible. But it came to an end anyway, much too soon.  Tomorrow is the first day of school. So, this is the last, the very last, and saddest day of the summer. I grieved all day. I tried to fake enthusiasm, at least in front of my boys, about their first day of school tomorrow. I am sure they saw through me. With all the new school supplies, new clothes, a new school for one of them, and looking forward to seeing old friends for the other, they didn’t seem that sad about summer ending.
I’m not sure why I love summer so much. Maybe it was because we spent the largest part of my growing up years living in Hawaii. For the entire four years we lived there it seems like it was permanently summer, well, besides the schoolwork. But, we knew that when the weekend came, we could still go to the beach just like we did all summer. So, it seemed like summer just continued forever.
I remember sending my daughter off to school those first few years, actually I believe I did it every year, begging her to stay home. She loved school, at first anyway, so I knew she wouldn’t give in. Even though the first day of school signaled the end to summer.
“Sis, don’t leave me. I will miss you so much.” I would groan, half joking, half serious.
She was always so grown up. “No, Mom, I have to go. All the kids will be there. I will see you when I get home,” she said when she was 5, 6, and 7 years old. She, being the grown up and I, was being the big baby.
My older son was the same way. He had been home schooled for five years, and he couldn’t wait to get to a “real” school.
“Don’t go son, I will miss you so much.”
“Mom, you will be fine, “ he would say without really any concern.
One of the twins was home schooled last year and although it was hard, we had a great time. Now, for eighth grade he will be going to the same school as his brother for the first time since second grade.  I couldn’t say to either of them ‘please don’t go’. They would actually take me up on it.
So, I grieved the end of summer by myself. I can’t tell if others are not sad to see summer go, or they can just keep it together better than me. I had tried my best to make it last longer. We planned our vacation at the beginning of the summer, so we would have as many weeks as possible, of summer left when we got home. We bought new patio furniture and I vowed to grill out and eat dinner outside every night of summer. After a couple of chilly and windy nights, with everyone gulping down their dinner so they could get inside out of the wind, they bailed on me. I ate one dinner by myself, outside, with my hoodie on, in the wind, and decided I was being silly. I should be inside eating with the family.
I did not accomplish everything on my summer bucket list. Actually, I lost the list. I think it blew away one night at dinner. I didn’t want to be bogged down with a schedule. I wanted to enjoy the summer. Even though it flew by, we did do a lot of summer things.
This summer we:
Spent a week on the beach in Hawaii.
Spent a long weekend at a cabin in Colorado.
Sent the boys to Boy Scout camp.
Sent the boys to church camp.
Went hiking.
Went swimming.
Took long walks around the neighborhood.
Read books.
Had friends over.
Went to the zoo.
Went to an amusement park.
Painted a good part of the house.
Rode bikes.
Skateboarded (not me, just the boys).
Had friends over.
Had sleepovers with friends (again, not me).
Made an extremely weak attempt at a garden. I have one tomato plant in a pot on the patio.
Held a carnival for low-income families at our church.
Spent four days in the hospital. (You can read about that here  )
That wasn’t really a ‘summer thing’, nor was it fun, but it happened.

And yes, still, after all these things, I could keep going. There were so many things we didn’t get to, and now it is over.  I tried to boycott school starting two weeks before Labor Day. It just doesn’t seem right. In addition to summer flying by so fast, it always feels like we get ripped off of the last two weeks of summer. We don’t get a three-month summer. We only get a two month and two weeks summer. I could not see how I could legitimately keep my boys home from school and then bring them the Tuesday after Labor Day. Better yet, I could bring them the first day it turns cold, or maybe when Starbucks rolls out their Pumpkin Lattes. Yes, Pumpkin Lattes on the first day of school. I think I might not be as sad to say goodbye to summer if I had a Venti Pumpkin Latte, and maybe a blueberry scone.
So, until that time, I have decided to mentally stay in a summer frame of mind. Tomorrow, I am going to look for some summer-scented candles. (They have every scent imaginable. They MUST have summer, maybe a beachy scent.) I’m going to play Beach Boys music every day as I drive the boys to school. They will love it. I’m going to grill hamburgers, serve watermelon and make the family eat dinner outside until the first frost. Only 285 more days until next summer, but who is counting?


  1. I grieve the end of summer. Maybe its because I never seem to get enough slow time to enjoy it. I want a long, boring summer day...a whole week of them...like I had as a kid. When was the last time you were bored? Maybe that's the wrong way to put it...I'm often bored with a long list of things I have to do! When was the last time I had a whole day with nothing to do? Can't remember. Maybe I need a week on the beach. Hmmm...can I make the beach happen here next week? Love your thoughts. We will try to make summer last here!

  2. Deanna, your girl's school starting after Labor Day was the inspiration or the jealousy that spurred this lament over the end of summer. See, one of my boys has already been to the principal's office (saving this for another post!) and I picture you basking in the sun at the beach! I hope this last week of summer is looong and boring for you! :)