Gone Missing

Day 28 of Our Adoption Adventure. Click here to start from the beginning. Please subscribe by email or Bloglovin so you won’t miss a post.

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         At home we were filled with incredible love as we bonded with these precious babies. Our joy was mixed with a huge undercurrent of stress, knowing they were not legally ours. Friends and family brought a steady stream of meals, baby gifts, visits and support. Everyone loved these babies. It was such a miraculous story and both boys were strikingly cute with their dark features and big brown eyes.

         In bringing the babies home I did something I swore I would never do. We brought them home without any legal documentation they were ours. The form Emma signed at the hospital was only a release form allowing us to leave the hospital with them.  Birth mothers can sign adoption papers as early as 36 hours after delivery. Initially, I thought we would go with Emma to the judge on the day the babies were released from the hospital. I wanted everything signed before we brought them home.

         In the craziness and stress at the hospital, everyone agreed we should take them home first. The next day, in addition to feeding, changing and loving our babies, the top priority was to get their adoption papers signed.

         Before the delivery I arranged for a lawyer to represent Emma. The earliest appointment he had was two days away. The social worker drove and picked her up. Afterward the social worker called and said the meeting was a disaster. The lawyer acted like he didn’t know anything about adoption and did not use positive adoption language. He talked to Emma as if she was suing us. We made an agreement with Emma prior to the delivery for how many visits, letters and pictures we would send. At the meeting, the lawyer started all over and asked her,

“How often would you like to see the babies?” 

Hormonal and teary, Emma said, “Well, I would like to see them everyday.”

“I can arrange that.” He said.

         The social worker reminded her that she already agreed to a plan with us. When she called us, the social worker recommended we find another lawyer. This one was not going to be helpful. Because she lived in a small town, the lawyer options were limited. When I found one with adoption experience, he didn’t have an appointment until the next week. That would mean another week of stress and worry, trusting God and growing in our faith.

         The next Monday was the eighth day after they were born. We had an appointment for the boys to get circumcised. As we were getting them ready, the director of the adoption agency called and talked to my husband. She said,

“I have some bad news. Can you come to the office to talk? This is going to be difficult. Maybe you should come alone. This will upset Robyn.”

Some friends were with us, so the two men drove to the adoption office. I knew there was only one piece of news that could be so terrible.

         I tried without success to hold back the tears. Thankfully, my friend helped me get the babies dressed and drove us to the doctor’s office. We prayed together. I wish I could say I had great faith during this time. I knew God was in control. He already performed such a huge miracle. I clung to Him and prayed constantly.

         In her office, the adoption director said,

“We have called Emma repeatedly and can’t get her to answer her phone. We left messages telling her it is very important to meet with the new lawyer and sign the adoption papers. We have not heard from her.”

“Have you tried calling her family? Maybe they know where she is.” My husband said.

“We tried them and they won’t give us any information.” She said. “I’ve been down this road before and this is not good. The longer she goes without contacting us or signing the papers, the greater the chance the adoption will fall through. I want you to be prepared for this.”

 “Do you think something happened to her?” my husband asked.

“I don’t know. But without anything signed, if something did happen to her, the babies would go back to the family.” She said.

         By this time, I was head over heels in the deep end of the emotional pool, in love with these babies. My husband, being more level headed, backed himself out onto the deck.

         Several days went by without any word from Emma. Finally, at the end of the week, she called the adoption director. She said she needed to get away and went with some friends on a road trip. Their car broke down. They were in a different state and she didn’t know how many days before someone could fix it. The director told her how concerned we were and that we needed her to sign the papers to finalize everything.

Emma said, “I don’t know why they are concerned. I signed the papers at the hospital.”

         The director explained those were not the adoption papers and she still needed to meet with the new lawyer to sign and appear before a judge for this to be legal.

         We bought a bus ticket for her for the next day. It would take her another full day before she arrived home. We made another appointment with the new lawyer. He could not request a court date until he met with her.

         Twenty long days after we brought the babies home, she finally signed the adoption papers and made it legal before a judge.

“The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.”  Psalm 28:7

Filled with joy and thanksgiving, we prayed for Emma. I thought to myself, what do you say to someone who gives you their child?

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***Click here  to read Day 29 on what to say to someone who blesses you with this incredible gift. ***