Mother's Day 2017

I have loved being a mother. Even on the hard days, I have loved everyday being called Mom. From the first time they laid a sweet towheaded baby girl in my arms, to the times when the principal called to say my child was suspended from school and I needed to come pick them up, (twice in one week!), I have loved being a Mom.

Fun. Sweet. Loving. Rewarding. Confusing. Frustrating. Overwhelming. Humbling.

Whether born from my heart or my womb, my kids, all young adults now, made me who I am today.

Before kids I thought I could do anything.  After kids, there were days I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t do anything . . . not sleep, not shower, not cook, not think.

Before kids I loved God. After kids, I’m desperate for God, for His love, forgiveness, guidance, presence and rescue.

Before kids I was self-sufficient. After kids, I can’t do anything without God’s strength.

Before kids I thought I would be a good parent. After kids, I wonder everyday if I am doing anything right with my kids.

Before kids I felt confident, had my act together, and knew where I was going. After kids, I sometimes felt lost, forgotten, and without purpose.

As I near the end of my parenting journey, my last two will turn 18 soon, I agree with all the other parents --- it has gone by too fast. A whirlwind of diapers, hugs, school, games, tears, trials, decisions, instilling values I hope will stick, and praying through the night they will choose to love God.

Before kids I felt loved. After kids, I never knew my heart could care about, love and break so much for another person.

Even though everyday has not been easy, and the bigger they grew, the bigger the challenges became, I would not give up being a mother for anything.

My kids have humbled me, grown me, made me more dependent on the Lord, and given me more joy than anything else in my life.

I love you Jessi, Zeek, Jeremiah and Josiah!

Mother's Day Hike 2017

 Happy Mother's Day!
 

Seasons of Change

         As I share stories about how God changed people’s lives in this 31 Days of Change series, I started thinking about the changing seasons of my life. During my adult life the seasons can be categorized by the ages and stages of my four kids.

         Summer is the season of babies, toddlers and littles. This is a wondrous, eye opening season. I never knew I could love so deeply, until I had kids. I learned what it meant to put someone else before myself: their feeding, their sleeping, their schedule, their likes and dislikes. I also remember this season being one of sleep deprivation, especially with twins waking up every two hours to eat. I worried a lot – was I doing the right thing for them, were they going to grow up to be alright? There wasn’t much time for self-care. Not that I thought about it at the time, I didn’t. Just looking back, I was too busy taking care of them.

        Fall brought the elementary school years. They were old enough to do some things on their own, but still needed their Mom. I remember these years being about growth, learning and developing life skills. It was fun doing things with them and looking at the world through their eyes. It was a busy time with activities and juggling schedules. I remember the phrase, “The days are long, but the years are short,” being true of this season.

         I have enjoyed every season with my kids, but the teenage years can be tough. The good part is they have freedom, they don’t need me as much and they can do most things on their own. I like listening as they work out a problem or talk about their plans for the future. Like the baby season, I find myself sleep deprived, waiting for them to come home at night, worrying about where they are and what they are doing. It is a balancing act as to when to be tough on these strong independent kids, but not break their spirit. Realizing we are not raising kids, we are raising them to be adults.

         The young adult years are when the baby birds leave the nest. It brings newness, independence and accomplishments. Graduations, new jobs, first apartments, marriage, and a baby of their own, make all the other seasons worth it. Adult conversations change the parent child relationship to more of a friendship with people you love deeply. Not all of my birds have left the nest yet, so I don’t know what an empty nest feels like, but I know it will be different, as each season with them has been different.

                    I wouldn’t trade any season away, even the tough years. It is all worth it.

         “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

If you would like to read more in the 31 Days of Change series, click here.

 

 

Hearing God for Our Kids

         It is hard not to worry when you are a Mom. A pastor once said

                  “You can’t worry and trust God at the same time.”

         I say, yes you can, and it’s called being a Mom. We worry. We pray for our kids. We give our kids to God and trust Him. Then we worry again, pray again, and trust Him again. It is tough being a Mom.

         We think it is tough when our kids are two, and it is! But even when they are 20 we can still worry, pray for them, trust God with them and worry some more. I think God made us this way to love and protect our kids. However, He wants us to trust Him with our kids.

One of my friends shared this story with me:

         “When my son was 7 and 8 (he is 19 now), he had a benign brain tumor that caused horrible seizures. He finally had surgery and was seizure-free for years, until about 3 years ago, right before he was graduating from high school and getting ready for college. He started having them in his sleep and had to go back on medication.

         As you can imagine, I did a lot of fretting about sending him off to college, hoping he would remember to take his meds every day, hoping his RA and roommates would know what to do, hoping they didn't migrate into waking hours, etc.

          While he was still home, I would go into his room every morning to make sure he was breathing and hadn't had one during the night. One morning right before high school graduation, when I was particularly emotional about everything (I was also getting ready to move from Virginia to NM), I went in as usual and leaned over him to check on him (he sleeps very soundly!) I physically felt the hands of God on my shoulders and heard his voice say out loud, "Mom, I got this," which is something my son always says to me.

         From that moment on, I realized that I had to put him in God's hands because there was nothing more I could do to take care of him except worry. He is at college now and has had a few seizures...but each time, everyone around him did what they were supposed to do, and he is fine.”

          Matthew 18:10 “See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.”

          Isn’t it comforting to know your children have angels watching over them?

                                         **********************************

Do you trust God with your kids?

Have you heard God speak to you through His Word, a sermon or the Holy Spirit that He is going to take care of your children?

*** This is Day 9 of the 31 Days of Hearing God series. It is part of the write31days.com challenge. To read the rest of the topics in this series click here. ***

Father's Day Thoughts

            My earliest childhood memory is of my Dad pushing me on a swing at a park and teaching me how to tie my shoelaces there. I think I was around four years old. It’s funny because my husband’s earliest childhood memory is of his Dad teaching him how to tie his shoes also. I don’t know if that memory has any type of deeper meaning, other than the obvious,  . . . that both of us know how to tie our shoes today, thanks to our Dads.

            That was the first of many things I learned from my Dad. This list includes:

Mowing the grass

Trimming trees and rose bushes

Swimming

Driving a stick shift car

Changing a flat tire

Changing spark plugs (which I have never needed to do, by the way)

Charging the battery in my Volkswagen Rabbit while I was away at college

Balancing a checkbook

Algebra I (2 years!), Algebra II, and Geometry

            He also . . .

Read every book report, research paper and story I wrote.

Listened to every speech, oral report, drama performance and speech team event I gave.

            More importantly, he . . .

Taught me that being the first to apologize is important in a relationship.

Said winning an argument in marriage is not really a win-win, and keeping score does not promote love in a marriage.

            And he took me to church when I was young and showed me how to pray and ask Jesus to be my Savior.

            It has been easy for me to believe the God of the Universe cares about me, loves me, wants to hear from me and has my best interest in mind . . . because that is how my Dad treated me.

            I know not everyone had an earthly Father like mine. But thankfully, we all have a Heavenly Father who values us, delights in us, has good plans for us and loved us enough to die for us. He longs to talk to us, always listens to us, forgives us, and has a wonderful future planned for us that gives us purpose and hope.                                               

                                                            Happy Father’s Day!

Recipe For Getting Picky Eaters to Eat Veggies

            It came as a total surprise, but I think I finally discovered the magic formula for getting my kids (and hubby!) to eat veggies for dinner, without all the usual whining and complaining.

            I know many of you have kids who were born loving salad, and prefer green vegetables over candy. But, for those whose kids are like mine, I want to share a secret I stumbled upon last night.

            My family has always been the meat and potato kind, the plainer the better. Which is really boring to cook for. Being a sanguine personality, I like to try new recipes. Having picky eaters has greatly hindered my cooking experimentation.

            The meat and potato dinners usually have the plain meat in one corner of the plate. Then separated, so nothing touches, are the potatoes, and separated again, some type of vegetable or fruit. The problem with this setup is the veggies are on full display for everyone to comment about, critique, criticize, and separate out what they don’t want.

            Last night I tried something totally different and it worked. I made ‘Mom’s-Cute-Crock- With- Hidden-Veggies-Pasta-Bowls.’ I told the kids they were Pasta Bowls.

                       The key ingredient, and it is a must – no substitutions – are these                                       incredibly cute crock bowls.

            They are probably sold everywhere, but I bought mine at Costco. They come in six fun colors, have a handle, and are just so cute. The key is the opening of the crock bowl is smaller than the belly of the bowl.

            Here is the recipe I threw together. I boiled bowtie pasta. While it cooked I made some marinara sauce. I was then inspired to throw a bunch of veggies in the sauce. So, in went diced tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, slivered carrots and half a bag of spinach. I stirred it all together. Then, I mixed the pasta and the sauce together in a large bowl.  I carefully ladled the yummy veggie pasta sauce into the crock bowls. For the two who like cheese, I topped theirs with mozzarella and melted it in the oven.

            An interesting thing happened. As I was waiting for the two crocks that were in the oven, the non-cheese laden bowl sat on the table. Usually, we wait for everyone to get to the table to pray and then eat. As it seemed like it would be a while for the others to arrive, the sans-cheese boy began to dig in and eat his. Normally, I would have stopped him to wait for everyone. But he has eating with gusto and never said a word about all the veggies. I was shocked! Didn’t he know there was at least a cup of veggies in his saucy pasta crock? No, he didn’t. He couldn’t see them because the opening was smaller and it all looked like pasta and sauce. He ate and ate and ate.

            Next the cheese lovers arrived. Who could resist the cute crocks with melted cheesy goodness on top? They ate too. Nobody complained. Nobody commented about the veggies. Crocks were devoured.

Score one for the Mom!

            I’m thinking all meals from here on will be served in these cute concealing crocks! There is no limit to the veggies that could be added and hidden, and then eaten as part of the pasta bowl.

            Here is the recipe. May you have great success in hiding vegetables for your kiddos to devour as well!

Cute-Crock-Pasta-Bowls-With-Hidden-Veggies  (aka Pasta Bowls)

1.     Buy cute crock bowls.

2.     Boil any type of pasta according to directions: penne, bowtie, gluten-free

3.     Make spaghetti sauce: homemade, store bought, or combination

4.     Sauté, or throw in raw, any veggies you have on hand: canned or fresh tomatoes, carrots, spinach, asparagus, kale, mushrooms, zucchini, onions, bell peppers

5.     Mix all together in a large bowl. Then ladle out portions into the cute crocks. Top with cheese, if desired. Melt 2 minutes in oven or microwave.

6.     Sit back and be amazed as they eat all those veggies!

              Please share in the comments if you have a healthy veggie recipe that kids love.

Parenting Isn't For Cowards

         Dr. Dobson, from Focus on the Family Ministries, says, “Parenting isn’t for cowards.” My husband and I wholeheartedly agree. We have four kids, an older daughter, an older son, and twin teenage boys.

When they were younger, the twins:

-       Had RSV at five months and were on oxygen at home for many weeks.

-       Would stand up in their cribs and pull off the wallpaper above their cribs.

-       Tore down and destroyed the mini blinds in their bedroom.

-       Locked the babysitter out of the house when they were 2 years old.

-       Stuck candy in our friend’s printer.

-       Broke one of our friend’s lamps.

-       Turned on the sprinkler system during their older brother’s first high school baseball game and the umpires had to stop the game until we could turn them off because the umpire, the players and all the fans were soaked!

         Yet, even with all this, they did not compare to how difficult it was raising our strong-willed daughter.

         The day after she was born, the nurse came into my hospital room to give us instructions. She said, “With most newborns you can hold them any way you want. Your baby, however, only wants to be held upright. She cries when you hold her any other way.” The nurse demonstrated how our baby was quiet when held upright and began to scream when she was cradled in her arms. “Your baby already knows what she wants,” she said.

         Little did we know how prophetic her statement was. Our daughter challenged us from an early age, about almost everything.

         When she was 15 months old she started throwing a fit every time we put on her socks and shoes. She would lay on the floor crying and screaming and then throw her shoes off. She would fight against me when I tried to put them back on. She would cry and scream something I could not understand. I asked her what was wrong and she would cry back these unintelligible words. When I was finally able to decipher what she was saying, I didn’t know what it meant. She kept screaming, “On the wrong!”  What was on the wrong? Her shoes?  I told her they were not on the wrong foot. They were correct. With her shoes off, she would pick and pull at her socks as if there was a sticker or something sharp in them. I would take off her socks, turn them inside out and feel inside them. Nothing. Were they too tight? I could not figure out what was wrong.

         As she sat pulling at her socks, her Dad eventually understood. With great patience, he bent down and adjusted the seam on her socks so it lined up straight across her small toes. Finally, she was quiet.

         “What? She was that bugged and agitated by the tiny 1 ½ inch seam that went across her toes? Who ever heard of such a thing? How could that be something to be so bugged about?”  I asked.

Her Dad spoke up, “It is a thing. It bugs me if the seam on my sock is not lined up correctly, either.”

WHAT?!

         Thankfully, after about four months of “On the wrong!” and us repeatedly adjusting her socks, she was able to put them on herself and adjust the seam to her satisfaction. It was a good thing she was incredibly cute, and despite everything, we loved her immensely.

         Isn’t this how we are sometimes? We become believers and commit our life to follow Christ, only we already know what we want. We want to do things our own way.

         We disregard the Bible, His love letter to us. He knows what is best for us, and tells us His plan for our life. Yet, we buck and fight Him about doing things His way.

         We think His Word is “on the wrong” and our way is the right way for us. God could not possibly know what is best for us. Our situation is unique. It is complicated. It doesn’t completely fit into one of God’s ‘Top Ten Rules,’ so therefore none of His Word applies to us.

         We struggle against our Heavenly Father and we wonder why we don’t have peace. It is not until we give up fighting for our way, and let Him truly lead us as Lord of our life, that we have peace. Blessed peace.

“Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me.”  John 14:21

Lord, cause me to stop struggling against You and choose 

to do things Your way.

 PS. Apparently, she was not the only one, as they now sell 'Seamless Sensitivity Socks.' My daughter would have loved them!

 

Confessions of a Baseball Mom: Looking Back

Looking back at our kid’s time in sports is eye opening. There is a nine -year difference between our older two, and our twin boys. When our older son was in sports, especially baseball, everything was so important. It was important which position he played. How many innings he played was important. Whether the team won or lost was important. If he made it on a club team or the varsity high school team was important. I hate to admit it, but at times we were consumed with our kid’s sports.

Years later when we were, again, sitting on the sidelines at our twin boy’s soccer games, it did not seem so important. What position they played, how much playing time they got, or what the score was at the end of the game just didn’t matter anymore. We would sit in the shade in our folding chairs and watch as the other parents stood and paced up and down the sidelines yelling at their five year old to kick the ball into the goal. We looked at each other and admitted how foolish we had been to act like that. At the end of their time with us, after they moved out of the house, it did not matter how many games they won or lost when they were five or fifteen. It is amazing how a few years and (dare I say it?) age, can change your perspective.

Our older two are married and have been out of our house a few years. We were given the privilege of a ‘do over.’ We made it through the toddler years twice. We went through the preschool and elementary school years twice. We are watching our boys play sports, and sitting on the sidelines, again. We are also in the home stretch of getting two, soon to be young adults, through middle school. It has not always been easy, but we have enjoyed every season. We love our boys and are thankful we get to continue parenting after our older kids left the nest.

Because we had a different perspective and the advantage of experience, we decided to do some things differently.

This time around we decided to:

Look for the good, instead of pointing out the things they needed to work on.

Instead of teaching them about God’s rules for life, we would teach them more about how much God loves them.

Instead of focusing on their report card grades, we would focus more are how much they are learning.

Instead of trying to have a spotless house, we (I) let them play in the mud, get dirty, take apart old appliances and have a million nuts, bolts and tools spread on their floor.

Instead of admiring animals from a distance, we let them catch and keep every kind of lizard, frog, tarantula and snake they wanted to. (The snakes have to stay outside though!)

Instead of striving so hard for the end result, we are enjoying our boys and the journey more. Four more years and our parenting will be done. They will always be our sons, but we won’t always have the influence we have with them now. Having experienced the high school years before, we know that time flies by. In the blink of an eye they will be finished and moved out. I will have plenty of time to have a clean house then.

It is fun to look back, but we are also enjoying the present season. How about you?

Coach Dad and our 14 year old soccer sons.

For more lessons we learned click here.

 

Passing on the Passion

In his book, David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants, Malcolm Gladwell interviewed a man who grew up in the Midwest. When the man was young, he went door to door asking the neighbors if they wanted the snow shoveled off their driveway and sidewalk. He then hired other kids to do it and paid them, from what he collected. In the fall, he switched to raking leaves. He was 10 years old when he did this. By the time he was 11, he had $600 in the bank, all earned by himself. This was in the 1950’s, and would be equivalent to $5000 today. If he or his brothers left the lights on in their house, his father would shake the electric bill at them, and tell them they were being lazy by not turning off the lights. He said he did not want to pay for lazy. When the man was in college, he ran a pickup and drop off laundry service for the rich students. Over and over he used hustle, drive, ambition and hard work to attain his goals. He grew up to be a very successful businessman and moved to Beverly Hills, where he is a multimillionaire today.

His problem?

He does not know how to be as successful at raising his kids, as his Dad was at raising him. Multimillionaires do not shake the electric bill in front of their kids and tell them they are lazy. His kids do not go door to door and rake leaves for their neighbors in Beverly Hills. It is hard to teach them the value of a dollar and how to be a hard worker when they already have more than they could want or imagine.

I wonder if this is sometimes how it is trying to raise our kids to love God. If we grew up with a void, because of how we were raised, or our own rebellious choices, we are so grateful that our loving God rescued us from our pit. We are forever humbled and thankful to this awesome God who saved us. We love spending time with Him in His Word. We tear up while singing praise songs that tell how much He loves us, because we feel it so deeply. We love sharing Christ with others, so they can have the adventurous life with the God who has a wonderful plan for them. We never want to go back to that pit, and we love God with all our heart. He is the best thing that ever happened to us.

The problem?

Our kids do not have that void. We have taken them to church every Sunday since they were born. They have gone to Christian camps, have Christian friends and they know all the Bible stories. Where is the void? How can they love God deeply and be humbly grateful for all He has done for them, if they think they have always known Him? How can they fight back tears when singing, “Our chains are gone. I’ve been set free,” if they have never been set free from a pit?  How can they love much, if they do not think they have been forgiven for much?

Just asking the question today.

Psalm 23 for Parents

The Lord is my Father and I have all that I need.

He knows parenting is exhausting, so He leads me to times of rest and refreshment.

His Word guides me in how to train up my children and encourage them as they walk through life.

Even though I walk through the terrible two’s and the tumultuous teen years, I will not fear because your Word and your Holy Spirit are with me giving me comfort and strength.

You prepare me to depend on You more and more as my kids grow up.

You anoint my head with Your overflowing love, which makes it easy to show Your love to my kids and lead them in your ways.

Surely You are a good God, because You have blessed me with these children.

All the days of my life I will thank You for them.

Even though they will not always dwell in my house, I know they will always live in the home of my heart and You will be with them wherever they go.