Day 25 - Marriage Doesn't Make You Happy

“Marriage doesn’t make you happy. You make your marriage happy.”

Dr. Les and Leslie Parrott

I was talking to a young woman recently who was telling me what went wrong with her relationship of the past two years. One of the first things she said was, “All my friends say he treats me badly.”

That was enough for me. “If everyone is telling you that, then you should run away from that guy.” I told her. She told me some of the rude, self-centered ways he treated her and my Mama Tiger kicked in. “You don’t need that guy. You need a guy who treats you great and thinks you are wonderful. You need a guy who pursues you and wants to be around you, someone who wants to listen to you and do things with you, someone you can have fun with and you don’t have to worry about walking on egg shells around him because he has anger issues. You need someone who is kind and cares about you.

 

She smiled like I was telling her a fairy tale. “I’ll never find a guy like that,” she said.

Then I gave my standard pre-marriage advice, “Don’t settle. Forever is a long time to be married and you want someone you love and who is head over heels in love with you and treats you like a princess.”

I couldn’t convince her. She shook her head not believing what I said was possible. And then she said something that broke my heart. “I would rather be in a bad relationship than alone.”

No! I couldn’t believe she said that! She was as cute as she could be with long sandy hair, half pulled up in a messy bun, skinny black pants, red blouse and cute pointy red flats. With her flawless skin and beautiful smile she could be a model. Her personality was kind, sweet and endearing. Any guy would love to be with her.

With only fifty percent of marriages making it, we have an obligation to encourage others that there are joyful marriages. It is our duty to instill hope in the next generation that a happy marriage is possible. It’s not a fairy tale. She went on to tell me both her sisters married men who treated them badly. They didn’t hit them but they weren’t nice to them. She said they grew up watching their Dad, who she said wasn’t a bad person, but her Mom almost divorced him because he had a porn addiction. All the guys she knew were like that.

I went off. “There are great guys out there. Don’t settle for someone who treats you badly just because you don’t want to be alone. I’ve been married 30 years to a guy who has loved me and treated me great. We enjoy being together and have fun together.  He is my best friend. He still looks at me like I am the best thing that ever happened to him, even when I am sometimes a hormonal emotional mess.” She smiled.  I kept going, “I’m serious, life is too short to be with a guy who doesn’t cherish you and want the best for you. Thirty years is a long time to be in a miserable marriage. Look for someone who thinks you are amazing and who brings you joy. It is the best going through life with an amazing person who you love and who loves you and treats you well.”

What could she say after that? I had more. I could have kept going, but I hope she got my point. I wanted her to know that marriage can be a beautiful thing with the right person. Marriage doesn't make us happy, but marrying someone who loves God and following His plan for marriage can bring great joy.

 

Today we've been married 31 years.

Happy Anniversary to the man who loves me,

sees the best in me and makes me feel special everyday!

(This is part of a 31 day writing challenge, to write on the same topic everyday in October. This series is Joy in the Journey. To read others in this series, click here.)

 Joyfully,
 

Day 21 - Where Has My Joy Gone?

I hate to admit this but somewhere during this month I lost my joy. I know, here I am writing 31 Days of Joy in the Journey and it has been difficult for me to actually have joy. It’s nothing major, just the normal stress everyone has: running a business, three employees quit, training new employees, teenage boys, teenage girls, teacher’s calls, principal’s office, grades, graduation concerns, urgent care, no doctors, unanswered health issues, daughter with high risk pregnancy, growing ministry, a church merge, meetings, planning an Israel tour, insurance issues from a car accident, totaled car, dieting, lack of sleep, and two food obsessed dogs, you know, just the usual. Anyway, I can’t seem to find my joy.

Then I started reading The Happiness Dare by Jennifer Dukes Lee. In chapter three she issues the actual dare. She says she has taken the challenge and it changed her life, so she wrote the book to challenge others to take the Happiness Dare as well. You will have to get the book to read all the details, but the challenge is huge. It stopped me from reading for a few days wondering if I could really do it. So, here it is. Let me know if you are up for taking the challenge. I would love the company if anyone wants to do it with me.

The Happiness Dare Manifesto

Huge isn’t it? Are you up for it? Do you think you can do this? Reading the book has inspired me. I am taking the challenge. I’m going to do it.

See you tomorrow for a more joyful day!

(This is part of a 31 day writing challenge, to write on the same topic everyday in October. This series is Joy in the Journey. To read others in this series, click here.)

  Joyfully,
 

Day 20 - What is Your Happiness Style?

Which one of the following makes you most happy?

a.    Reading a book or listening to a podcast.

b.    Being productive in tasks at home, at the office, or in the yard.

c.    Inviting a friend over.

d.    Taking part in a leisurely activity, such as a walk at a beautiful park, playing a round of golf, or going for a swim.

e.    Doing whatever my family or friends prefer to do.

These are some of the questions to determine your Happiness Style found in Jennifer Dukes Lee’s book, The Happiness Dare. Lee says there are five happiness styles, five ways people primarily experience happiness. It doesn’t mean we are only one style. We can have a combination of several styles. But generally, we have one way we predominantly experience happiness. 

It makes sense; different things make different people happy. Some people get energized when they are having fun with a group of people. Some people need time alone to wind down and recharge in order to be happy. Some people are happiest accomplishing a huge task. Some people are happiest serving others.

We have many group events at our house. Most of them are a combination of church meetings, dinner, games and social activities. It is interesting in a group of 30 or more people what different personality types are drawn to do in that type of setting.

There are always people who are in a group laughing and telling funny stories.

There are people paired off in a corner having serious in-depth conversations.

There are one or two people who will start cleaning, stay late, wash the dishes, bag up the trash and wipe down the kitchen counters. (I LOVE these types of people!)

There was even one woman who sat alone and pulled out a book and started reading. (She only came to one such event.)

The five Happiness Styles are: the Doer, Relater, Experiencer, Giver and Thinker. Lee explains each style more in depth in her book.

The Doer is happiest in purposeful activity. They like to make lists, can juggle several tasks at once, are dependable and goal oriented. They are happiest when they are busy accomplishing something.

The Relater enjoys positive, meaningful relationships. They are inviters, includes, lovers and connectors. They are known for being friendly, kind and warmhearted.

The Experiencer loves adventure. They are curious, want to explore new activities, have a deep sense of wonder and love making memories.

The Giver finds great delight in helping, sharing and serving. They are happiest creating happiness for others. They are known for being thoughtful and selfless.

The Thinker enjoys contemplation, learning, pondering and dreaming. They are curious, notice details, and ask questions.

Do you see yourself in any of these styles?

Our immediate family of six has five extroverts who are a combination of the Doer, the Relater, the Experiencer and the Giver. We have one son who is not. He is graduating from high school this year and like all his siblings we wanted to throw a graduation party for him. When we told him he looked horified. Then I remembered he doesn’t like parties. He is the kid who said when he was little, “I don’t like new people.” He prefers to be with family or a few close friends. It would not bring him any joy to be the center of attention and have a party in his honor where he would be expected to talk to a lot of people. Since it is his graduation, we decided to do something he would enjoy and not have a party just because the rest of us would like it.

It is helpful to know what our Happiness Style is and that of our friends and family members. If you are unsure what yours is you can take the Happiness Style Assessment online at http://jenniferdukeslee.com/happiness-style/ or pick up a copy of the book The Happiness Dare.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:13-14

   (This is part of a 31 day writing challenge, to write on the same topic everyday in October. This series is Joy in the Journey. To read others in this series, click here.)

   

  Joyfully,
 

Day 19 - Joy at Any Age

            (This is part of a 31 day writing challenge, to write on the same topic everyday in October. This series is Joy in the Journey. To read others in this series, click here.)

 

They were the cutest couple. A short, white-haired husband and wife probably in their mid 80’s, strolling hand-in-hand. My friend and I were eating lunch outside of a restaurant as we watched this sweet couple walk by. They were looking lovingly at each other and smiling. We assumed they were married many years and still had a flirty, close, joyful relationship. My friend turned to me and said, “That is how I want to be with my husband when we are old.”

I gave her a puzzled look but decided not to say anything. Though decades younger than the couple we watched walk by, I had never seen my friend and her husband act like that. I had never seen them hold hands, act flirty or look lovingly in each other’s eyes. They didn’t have a bad marriage; in fact they seemed to be doing well. I had just never seen them show any physical closeness or affection. I didn’t think my friend and her husband could grow up to be an affectionate, romantic older couple if they weren’t that way when they were young.

In the same way, if we want to avoid the stereotype of being a ‘grumpy old man’ or a ‘mean old lady’ when we are older we have to work hard on not being like that when we are young. Whether old or young, it is special to encounter a person who is truly happy, joyful and quick to give an encouraging word. A person who lights up with a smile when they meet you is fun to be around.

Being in the customer service business, we look forward to seeing our regular customers who are kind, appreciative and positive. We had two new customers recently that we worked with for several weeks. One, we only met on the phone, but just by the way she talked, we could tell she was smiling on the other end. She laughed. She complimented us. She asked about my kids. She took responsibility for her mistakes and was appreciative for the creative quality work we provided for her. Never having seen her in person, we could tell she was filled with joy.

Another new customer came in already disgruntled before she met us. She had been to several online and big box stores and was completely dissatisfied with anything the four other companies had done. Her job was easy enough, but after being with her for an hour listening to her complain, our employee turned to me when she left and said “we are never going to be able to make her happy” which turned out to be true.

Growing old joyfully starts with being joyful now. Life is difficult, busy and stressful for everyone. Choosing to go through life with joy is a habit we need to cultivate now if we want to have joy later in life.

Life is too short to live without joy. We have more joy when we share our joy with others. We can only share our joy with others when we are joyful.

A person finds joy in giving an apt reply—
    and how good is a timely word!   Proverbs 15:23

 Joyfully,
 

Day 17 - Make Your Own Joy

It happened every year. A group of friends celebrated each other’s birthdays by going out to lunch together. When it came to one friend’s birthday, she always brought gifts for everyone at the lunch, whether it was two or ten of us. These gifts were personal and almost always had our names written in fancy handwriting on them. They were well thought out gifts, not just thrown together. She decorated gift bags and inside there would be a handmade note card, bookmark or ribbon with a hand picked Bible verse beautifully printed on it. There might be something fun like a magnet, plastic sunglasses, tea-party type fans or a candle. Always there was a note telling us we were loved, thought of, prayed for and cheering us on as women, wives and mothers.

      
             We could tell she spent days planning and putting together the personal touches. She was giddy with joy as she passed out each gift. The rest of us were always surprised. It was a little bit embarrassing. She didn’t have to do that. It was her birthday after all. We should have brought her a gift. The rest of us viewed going out to lunch as the birthday gift, or we didn’t see the need to bring gifts. It was always very nice and made us feel special that she thought so much about us.

Why did she do it?

I think her love language must have been receiving gifts, therefore she showed love to others by giving gifts. Also, and I am just guessing here, she came from a family with all men, who typically did not give gifts, certainly not handmade, personalized, sentimental gifts. She never complained about them, nor did she ever say she missed not receiving gifts. But what she did was inspiring.

She made her own joy!

         She had as much fun giving the gifts and watching our expressions opening them as she would  had she received the gifts. It was an amazing act of love and kindness on her part, but it also brought her much joy.

         It was a huge lesson to me. Why wait for something fun, special or encouraging to happen to us, when we can make our own joy? We can give gifts. We can plan our own party. We can arrange a fun group activity with friends. I have another friend who lives miles away from her extended family. She invites whoever wants to join her for a big Thanksgiving dinner. She cooks everything, sets a beautiful table and always has people from different walks of life join her. The people who are invited are usually single or otherwise alone on Thanksgiving Day. They appreciate being included around her table and she receives joy from serving and feeding a houseful of people.

         I want to encourage you. If you have not had much joy lately, brainstorm what would make you happy at this season of your life. It doesn’t have to be perfect and it doesn’t have to be with the exact people you want to be around. Open yourself up to new people and experiences and see if making your own joy and bringing joy to others allows you to live the abundant life God has for you.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace

because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope

through the power of the Holy Spirit.     Romans 15:13

  (This is part of a 31 day writing challenge, to write on the same topic everyday in October. This series is Joy in the Journey. To read others in this series, click here.)

 Joyfully,
  

The Happiness Project

         

Do you have the ability to make yourself more happy? That was the question Gretchen Rubin asked herself a few years ago. She wasn’t depressed. In fact she viewed herself as a fairly happy person. She had a good life, was happily married, had two young daughters, she lived in her favorite city, New York and was a full-time writer. One day she realized life goes by fast and she didn’t think she appreciated her life very much. She complained and nagged too much. She wanted to be grateful and enjoy her life more. So, she decided to start a yearlong Happiness Project.

She came up with a list of areas in her life which she thought could use more happiness. They were Marriage, Parenting, Friends, Eternity, Attitude, Work, Play, Passion, Energy, Money and Mindfulness. She decided she would work on each one for a month and then add in the next area. For the month of December she would practice all the areas together.

She didn’t have much support when discussing this project. At first her family members, friends and even her husband thought it was a waste of time because she appeared to be happy enough. She decided to persevere anyway. She researched each area, created charts to mark her progress, and came up with some over arching principles she would incorporate into each month.

In January she began with the area of Energy. She wrote out what she could do to increase her energy. She thought she would need more energy to get through the rest of the areas and she knew she would be happier with increased energy. She made a list of things to do and then checked off each day as she did them.

Her action steps for January were:

         Go to sleep earlier.

         Exercise better.

         Toss, restore, and organize.

         Tackle a nagging task.

         Act more energetic.

It was interesting reading about her experiences and how she made a conscious effort to improve in these particular areas. Sometimes it came easy and sometimes she had to force herself to do things. She tried something and then reported whether it worked or not and at the end of each month she asked herself if she was happier than she was at the beginning of the month.

At the end of the book she encourages people to start their own Happiness Project. Each person is different and would have different areas of their life that are important to them, so each monthly list would be unique. She offers helpful resources on her website (gretchenrubin.com). 

         If you would like to increase your happiness, which area would you want to work on? Would you choose one of Gretchen Rubin’s categories? I would not have thought about Energy as a means to more happiness, but after making a concentrated effort to improve in that area, she decided having more energy did improve her happiness.

The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy.

 My purpose is to give life in all its fullness. John 10:10

 (This is part of a 31 day writing challenge, to write on the same topic everyday in October. This series is Joy in the Journey. To read others in this series, click here.)

 Joyfully,
 

Day 13 - Words or Numbers?

         

Are you a word person or a number person? I’m a word person. I love words, reading them and writing them. Numbers, not so much. In our business we deal with both. We are constantly writing, reading, proofing and arranging words. We are also constantly measuring, adding, multiplying and calculating square footage.

         Recently, our bookkeeper of fifteen years had the nerve to retire at 75 years old. My first question when she gave notice was, “Why?”  That left me to do the bookkeeping, payroll, billing, profit and loss and of course the T word – taxes.

         I haven’t been a person who gives myself pep talks. In fact, I didn’t even notice what effect my thoughts were having on my job. At first this new position was frustrating. Everything felt like I was learning Greek. My thoughts didn’t help. I kept thinking, “I can’t do this. This is too hard. Why do we have to do things this way? This is overwhelming.” Needless to say I was frustrated and overwhelmed.

          When I came to something difficult or had to figure out where I messed up and why things weren’t balancing, I wanted to give up. I regretted not hiring an experienced bookkeeper. I thought, “What in the world made me think I could do this? This is beyond my capability and skill set.”

But as I worked at it day after day and asked questions of our previous bookkeeper and my accountant friend, I started to understand. In order to stay focused and not get up and leave my problem, I had to tell myself, “You can do this. Stick it out. You can figure it out. The solution is here somewhere.” Self-talk and of course, Google helped me stay with it.

My defeating thoughts did not help at all. It was not until I consciously started encouraging myself to stay with it, that I could finally make sense of all the numbers.

Negative thoughts never helped anybody. They pull us down, keep us from following our dreams and accomplishing our goals. Negative thoughts can lead to depression, isolation and poor decision-making. If we are what we think, then thinking negative thoughts makes us a negative person. Are we always pointing out the problems to people? Do we automatically see the reasons a plan or project won’t work? Do we naturally think of a better, more efficient way someone could have done something? Those thoughts make us negative and hinder our joy.

It’s the positive person who encourages others, cheers them on when they attempt something new, applauds someone else's plan or proposal and is quick to say, “That’s a great idea!” We all need people in our life who encourage us and point out the positive in a situation. If we don’t have encouraging people in our life, we may have to encourage ourselves. I love the verse in 1 Samuel 30:6:

David was greatly distressed because the people spoke of stoning him, for all the people were embittered, each one because of his sons and his daughters. 

But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God.  1 Samuel 30:6

If you are caught in the downward spiral of negative self-talk, let me encourage you to take your thoughts captive and give yourself a pep talk.

You can do it! You have the power of the Holy Spirit inside you. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom in your situation. Start looking for the good and positive things about your life and not only will it increase your joy, but you can spread that joy to others as well.

  

(This is part of a 31 day writing challenge, to write on the same topic everyday in October. This series is Joy in the Journey. To read others in this series, click here.)  

 Joyfully,

 

Day 12 - Live it!

(This is part of a 31 day writing challenge, to write on the same topic for everyday in October, called Joy in the Journey. To read others in this series, click here. )

         It is one thing to talk about Joy in the Journey, but another thing to live it out. On Day 10 I talked about Tommy Newberry’s book, the 4:8 Principle. He must have realized it is hard to live out joy also, so he wrote a companion book a few years later called 40 Days to a Joy-Filled Life. He takes the principles from the first book based on Philippians 4:8 

Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praise-worthy, meditate on these things.

         The second book is broken into 40 short, applicable sections. Each day he writes about a principle, then asks some application questions and has the reader apply it to their lives. It is a useful tool if you are struggling with finding joy.

         On Day 29 called Way to Go! he writes about the joy of other people’s success. An important part of having joy is being able to be happy for others. He says we can have success without it interfering with other people’s goals or dreams and others can succeed without it hindering us. In fact, hearing about other people’s success can inspire us to go for our own goals. In this section he says:

“If you’d be proud of your son or daughter for accomplishing some feat, celebrate anyone else who does something similar.”

“Work to become genuinely happy for others when they succeed, 

get promoted, or win the top prize.”

“If you are secure in God’s love, you know that he has a plan for you, and you are not threatened by others’ talents or successes. Applaud what God is doing through others because whatever he accomplished in their lives, he can accomplish in yours also.”

“When you see someone get the promotion that you wanted, it can be a real bummer. Difficult as it is, thank God for the other person’s success.”

“One of the best things we can do to overcome envy or jealousy is to pray for others to be blessed in the way we desire to be blessed. It’s the ultimate application of the Golden Rule.”

Being genuinely happy for other people when they succeed is a habit that might take practice. It starts with kids on any type of team when the coaches make the kids shake hands with the other team and say the obligatory “Good game.” Win or lose it is important to teach kids to be good sports and be okay with not winning. Hopefully, this simple ritual transitions to being happy for others as we become adults.

God loves all of us equally and there is plenty of room at the table for everyone to step up and eat at the table of success. We want to cheer on what God is doing in other people’s lives, because what He accomplishes through them, He can accomplish through us.

A wonderful byproduct of being happy for others is that it increases our joy as well.

“When others are happy, be happy with them. 

If they are sad, share their sorrow.”

 Romans 12:15

Joyfully,

 

Day 10 - The 4:8 Principle

   

Have you ever heard the phrase, “You are what you eat?” In Tommy Newberry’s book, The 4:8 Principle: The Secret to a Joy-filled Life, he believes, “You are what you think.” His book is based on Philippians 4:8:         

“Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.”                    

Life is a mixture of good and bad and we will always have things to complain about and things that bring us joy. He said productive thinking and destructive thinking are both merely habits. We can train ourselves to think about things that produce joy instead of rob us of joy.                                                         

Here is a sample list of what he calls Junk-Producing Thoughts:

1. I’m never going to be happy again.

2. That is just the way it is.

3. This probably won’t work.

4. I don’t have what it takes.

5. That always happens to me.

6. The honeymoon is officially over.

7. I hate myself.

8. I am not worthy.

9. I am just not creative.

10. I can’t.

11. It that happens, I am going to be so mad.

12. It’s never going to work out.

13. That is just my luck.

14. That’s just who I am.

15. It’s hopeless.

“Negative thinking corrupts your brain and triggers harmful mental states such as anxiety, moodiness, depression and irritability,” writes Newberry.  If a thought brings about worry or fear, it is not from God. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind.

A better list is this one that causes Joy-Producing Thoughts:

1.    I expect the best, and it shows!

2.    I trust God; my faith is strong.

3.    I now accept the best that life has to offer.

4.    I am a new creature in Christ.

5.    My metabolism works effectively.

6.     I stay lean even as I age.   (Let’s all say this one together!!)

7.     I have boundless energy.

8.    I am healthy and strong.

9.    Everything I need, I already have.

10. God has great plans for me!

11. I learn scripture easily.

12. I am supercharged with joy.

13.I am learning a lot through this experience.

14.My lifestyle supports unshakable faith.

15.I surrender myself and my future to God and I trust Him.

We are bombarded daily with negative information. If we dwell on these thoughts, respond to them, debate them and complain about them we can end up spending most of our time on Junk-Producing Thoughts. Whatever you give your attention to expands in your mind. It’s just like if you buy a new blue car, all of a sudden it seems like every other car on the road is blue. The cars didn’t change, but our thoughts and where we put our attention did.

One of the ways the author encourages us to think positive, Joy-Producing Thoughts is to ask ourselves 4:8 questions. These are questions to which the answers will point us toward thinking Philippians 4:8 thoughts. When you are in a negativity rut, ask yourself these questions:

*What are five things I am thankful for right now?

*What are five of my strengths or positive traits?

*What are five of my best achievements so far?

*Who are the five people who love me most?

*What five things am I looking forward to in the next seven days?

            You are what you think! Let’s think thoughts that will promote joy!

 
**(This is part of a 31 day series on finding Joy in the Journey. If you want to read more related posts click here. )**

     

Joyfully,
 

Joy or Happiness?

Many of us have been taught in church that joy and happiness are different. That teaching says joy is not an emotion but a state of being because we have a relationship with Christ and happiness is a temporary emotion based on something that happened. Simplified -we have been taught joy is a Christian concept and happiness is a worldly concept. But is this correct?

It is an interesting teaching, however, nowhere in the Bible does it make that distinction. In fact, in over 100 verses the Bible lumps them together and uses the two words interchangeably. A few examples are:

Esther 8:16— For the Jews it was a time of happiness and joy, gladness and honor.

 

Jeremiah 31:13— I will turn their mourning into joy. . . and bring happiness out of grief.

Proverbs 23:25–Give your father and mother joy! May she who gave you birth be happy.

In both the Webster dictionary and bible dictionaries the words joy and happiness are synonyms and are used to mean the same thing. Miriam Webster Dictionary defines joy as:

Definition of joy

The emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or 
by the prospect of possessing what one desires: delight

A state of happiness or felicity: bliss

Definition of happiness

Good fortune: prosperity

A state of well-being and contentment: joy

A pleasurable or satisfying experience

          Bible Dictionaries - Baker's Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology, define joy and happiness in the same way.

                                            

Joy

Happiness over an unanticipated or present good. In the Old Testament joy covers a wide range of human experiences—from sexual love (So 1:4), to marriage (Pr 5:18), the birth of children (Psalm113: 9), the gathering of the harvest, military victory (Isa 9:3 ), and drinking wine ( Psalm104:15 ). On the spiritual level it refers to the extreme happiness with which the believer contemplates salvation and the bliss of the afterlife. Unexpected benefits from God are expressed in terms of common experiences. The psalms express the joyous mood of believers as they encounter God. Believers rejoice because God has surrounded them with his steadfast love (32:11) and brought them to salvation (40:16; 64:10). David rejoices that God has delivered him from the hand of his enemies (63:11). Joy is a response to God's word (Psalm 119:14) and his reward to believers (Isa 65:14) and their strength (Ne8: 10).

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Happiness [N]

See Joy

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In the Bible dictionary the definition of the word happiness is joy. In most of the dictionaries joy is happiness and happiness is joy. They are the same.

         The idea of joy and happiness having two different meanings is a relatively new concept in church history, a modern Christian idea. Certainly the early church fathers used the words interchangeable.

         We should not teach believers to only pursue joy and not happiness. Some of the best verses describing joy use the word happiness.

If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married. Deuteronomy 24:5                   

 (By the way, wives, isn’t this a great verse?!)

 When talking about the announcement of Jesus’ birth:

You will have joy and happiness, and many will rejoice at his birth. Luke 1:14

                                             ---------------------------------------

Let’s take back the word happiness, and stop deeming it unbiblical.

To have joy in our journey, know that it includes being happy as well!

        

  Joyfully,