Friday, October 31, 2014

Update on Birth Mother and Twins

        This is the last day of Our Adoption Adventure. THANK YOU to everyone    who read and left encouraging comments. I appreciate it.  If you missed some of it, click here to start reading from the beginning. 
         Our Adoption Adventure took place fifteen years ago.  After reading this series, several people asked how Emma is doing today. I am happy to say she is doing great.
         We prayed everyday God would bless her and provide for her and He has. I called her several times a week the first few months after the delivery. I wanted to know how she was doing and she wanted to know how the babies were doing.
         She reconciled with her family and moved back home within a couple of months. The first year was rough on her. We arranged for her to visit the babies and me several times. I wasn’t sure if that was helpful for her or not. She was happy to see them, and proud of how well they were doing.
         Over the years I sent letters, pictures and video of the boys twice a year.  She sent a couple of cards and a letter, complementary of us and positive she made the right decision. Today she is happily married, received her GED and attended school for a professional job she loves. We are so happy she is doing well.
         Our boys are in high school now. They are very much like the rest of our family. They like the things we like and we do lots of things together as a family. They love going to Disneyland. They went with us to Israel this year and loved it, and like our other kids, they would love to go again. (You can read about that trip here.)
         They don’t talk about their adoption or ask very many questions. We told them from the beginning what a wonderful birth mother they had and how much she loved them. They are mostly consumed with typical church and high school activities. They know God loves them and has a wonderful plan for their lives.

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I will blog about more adventures on Mondays and Thursdays.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

The Happiest Place on Earth

Welcome to Day 30 of Our Adoption Adventure. To read from the beginning click here. If you liked this series please subscribe by email or Bloglovin. Thanks!

“I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two.”
Bob Constantine

         Fifteen years have past since that tumultuous summer we adopted our twins. We also have two biological children. When asked, I always say there is absolutely no difference between our bio kids and our adopted kids. We love them all the same.
         We don’t ever think about them being adopted. They are all just our kids. We are a family and we are crazy about each other.
         Sometimes I think people believe adoption is the second best option. That only after you couldn’t have bio kids should you try to adopt. God builds families all kinds of ways. Today, we have so many blended types of families, stepfamilies, half siblings, and foster families. There is not a best way.
         As women, we do our sisters a disservice when we are in groups and talk about our birthing stories. I have been guilty of this many times. I think we can rejoice in the birth of all of our children, while still being sensitive to those without at birth story.
         But when the goal is to have a family, to love and raise children, the birthing story is the least important part. It is like going to Disneyland. It doesn’t matter if we fly or drive to Disneyland; the important part is that we arrive. It is Disneyland, the happiest place on earth! Sure, flying is faster and easier. But, the memories and adventure of a road trip are great too. Our family would never miss out on Disneyland because we couldn’t fly there. We would find a way to drive.
It's not always Disneyland, but home is the happiest place on earth.
           Someone once said, “I could never love somebody else’s child.” What if Jesus’ earthly father or Moses’ mother had that attitude? Once those children come home, they are our children. God predestined them before creation to be our children. We couldn’t love anyone without God giving us love. (1 John 4:7 “Let us love one another, for love comes from God.”)
         Our adoption journey had a few rough spots, but it has been worth every one of them. Our family was not complete without our twins and God faithfully worked everything out to bring them to our family. Truth be told, home is the happiest place on earth.
         If you long to have children to love and raise, don’t view adoption as second best. The Bible says,
 “Children (adopted or biological) are a gift from the Lord. They are a reward from him. Blessed are those who have many children.”           Psalm 127:3,5.
*** Join me here tomorrow for the last day in this series, Day 31, for an update on how the birth mother and the twins are doing. ***

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

What Do You Say to Someone Who Gives You Their Child?

Welcome back to Day 29 of Our Adoption Adventure! To start reading from the beginning click here.  If you enjoyed this, please subscribe by email or Bloglovin. Thanks!
         Every year for the past 15 years I have written a letter and sent pictures to our twin boy’s birth mother. I also send a letter, pictures and a video of the boys every Christmas. Each time I start to write, I am flooded with the thought, she gave us the greatest gift anyone could give another person.
         Instead of rewriting it, please click the link below to read:
         There is a photo of the babies and me on the day they were born at the bottom of the post.   I also have a photo of their birth mother with them in her hospital bed. One day I might ask her permission to put that photo beside mine. 

          I have enjoyed sharing our story, because it is really God's story. For the last two days of the month I want to share:

           *** Please join me here tomorrow. ***


Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Gone Missing

Day 28 of Our Adoption Adventure. Click here to start from the beginning. Please subscribe by email or Bloglovin so you won’t miss a post.
         At home we were filled with incredible love as we bonded with these precious babies. Our joy was mixed with a huge undercurrent of stress, knowing they were not legally ours. Friends and family brought a steady stream of meals, baby gifts, visits and support. Everyone loved these babies. It was such a miraculous story and both boys were strikingly cute with their dark features and big brown eyes.
         In bringing the babies home I did something I swore I would never do. We brought them home without any legal documentation they were ours. The form Emma signed at the hospital was only a release form allowing us to leave the hospital with them.  Birth mothers can sign adoption papers as early as 36 hours after delivery. Initially, I thought we would go with Emma to the judge on the day the babies were released from the hospital. I wanted everything signed before we brought them home.
         In the craziness and stress at the hospital, everyone agreed we should take them home first. The next day, in addition to feeding, changing and loving our babies, the top priority was to get their adoption papers signed.
         Before the delivery I arranged for a lawyer to represent Emma. The earliest appointment he had was two days away. The social worker drove and picked her up. Afterward the social worker called and said the meeting was a disaster. The lawyer acted like he didn’t know anything about adoption and did not use positive adoption language. He talked to Emma as if she was suing us. We made an agreement with Emma prior to the delivery for how many visits, letters and pictures we would send. At the meeting, the lawyer started all over and asked her,
“How often would you like to see the babies?” 
Hormonal and teary, Emma said, “Well, I would like to see them everyday.”
“I can arrange that.” He said.
         The social worker reminded her that she already agreed to a plan with us. When she called us, the social worker recommended we find another lawyer. This one was not going to be helpful. Because she lived in a small town, the lawyer options were limited. When I found one with adoption experience, he didn’t have an appointment until the next week. That would mean another week of stress and worry, trusting God and growing in our faith.
         The next Monday was the eighth day after they were born. We had an appointment for the boys to get circumcised. As we were getting them ready, the director of the adoption agency called and talked to my husband. She said,
“I have some bad news. Can you come to the office to talk? This is going to be difficult. Maybe you should come alone. This will upset Robyn.”
Some friends were with us, so the two men drove to the adoption office. I knew there was only one piece of news that could be so terrible.
         I tried without success to hold back the tears. Thankfully, my friend helped me get the babies dressed and drove us to the doctor’s office. We prayed together. I wish I could say I had great faith during this time. I knew God was in control. He already performed such a huge miracle. I clung to Him and prayed constantly.
         In her office, the adoption director said,
“We have called Emma repeatedly and can’t get her to answer her phone. We left messages telling her it is very important to meet with the new lawyer and sign the adoption papers. We have not heard from her.”
“Have you tried calling her family? Maybe they know where she is.” My husband said.
“We tried them and they won’t give us any information.” She said. “I’ve been down this road before and this is not good. The longer she goes without contacting us or signing the papers, the greater the chance the adoption will fall through. I want you to be prepared for this.”
 “Do you think something happened to her?” my husband asked.
“I don’t know. But without anything signed, if something did happen to her, the babies would go back to the family.” She said.
         By this time, I was head over heels in the deep end of the emotional pool, in love with these babies. My husband, being more level headed, backed himself out onto the deck.
         Several days went by without any word from Emma. Finally, at the end of the week, she called the adoption director. She said she needed to get away and went with some friends on a road trip. Their car broke down. They were in a different state and she didn’t know how many days before someone could fix it. The director told her how concerned we were and that we needed her to sign the papers to finalize everything.
Emma said, “I don’t know why they are concerned. I signed the papers at the hospital.”
         The director explained those were not the adoption papers and she still needed to meet with the new lawyer to sign and appear before a judge for this to be legal.
         We bought a bus ticket for her for the next day. It would take her another full day before she arrived home. We made another appointment with the new lawyer. He could not request a court date until he met with her.
         Twenty long days after we brought the babies home, she finally signed the adoption papers and made it legal before a judge.
“The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.”  Psalm 28:7
Filled with joy and thanksgiving, we prayed for Emma. I thought to myself, what do you say to someone who gives you their child?
***Click here  to read Day 29 on what to say to someone who blesses you with this incredible gift. ***

Monday, October 27, 2014

Running on Empty

Thank you for following. This is Day 27 of Our Adoption Adventure. If you missed the beginning, you can click here to start on Day 1. If you have enjoyed this series, please sign up by email so you won't miss future posts. Thanks!
         The nurse called for a security guard to walk my husband and me, and the baby twins out to the car. Was the nurse concerned someone would be waiting for us in the parking garage? Did she know something we didn’t know? I was glad the security guard was there. But truthfully, God brought such a miracle in that hospital room, there was nothing in the parking garage He couldn’t handle.
         As we walked outside, the first thing I noticed was the sun. This was the first time since we arrived that the sun was shining, the rain was gone and the blue sky was back. After everything we had been through in the hospital, it felt like God was smiling  on the situation.
         I know we are all special to God and we are all His favorites, but I couldn’t help thinking, these are some special little boys. God loves them and has a wonderful plan for their life.
         After we buckled the babies in the van, and shut the door, I could not wait to leave that town. In the craziness of the last few days, we never filled up with gas. My husband said,
“We have to stop and get gas. We are completely out.”
         I didn’t want to stop anywhere in the small town. I felt like we were being watched and I didn’t want to have any more confrontations.
“Please, can we drive to the next town? I really don’t want to stop here. The next town is not too far, is it?” I asked.
“It is at least an hour away. The gage is right at the empty line.” He said.
“Please, I really don’t want to stop here. Maybe there will be a gas station along the way.” I begged.
Reluctantly he agreed.
         We breathed a sigh of relief as we drove out of town. It was a miracle the babies were with us. We were not sure it was going to happen until she signed the papers.
         We called several of our friends and family to pray for us while we were at the hospital. The grand parents, especially, were concerned for us. I wasn’t sure when we would have cell service again, so as we headed out I called to let my mom know it was over and we were coming home.
         She was relieved.
         “Do you have the babies?” she asked.
         I realized nobody else knew what was going to happen either. If not for Emma’s love and determination to give her boys the best life possible, the situation would have ended differently.
         “Yes, we have the babies.” I said.
         As it turned out, there was not a single gas station along the way to the next town.
         “Lord,” we prayed, “You have brought us this far, and we were foolish not to fill up, but if you could get us to the next town, we would be forever grateful.”
         I could picture us pulled over in the middle of nowhere, no cell service, carrying these babies, walking on the highway to the next town.
         100 miles. It was 100 miles to the next gas station. We drove almost two hours with the gas gage on empty. We were thankful we made it.
         Three hours after leaving the hospital, we finally arrived at our house. We walked in and our closest friends and grandparents were there to greet us. Our older kids hugged us and looked amazed at the little bundles.          

           Our living room was filled with baby gifts! These friends surprised us, and organized friends from church to bring over diapers, clothes, blankets, baby seats, bottles, toys, everything we would need for these sweet babies. While we were gone, they brought these gifts to the house and my Mom let them in. That’s why she asked on the phone if we had the babies with us. They were going to haul all of those gifts out of the house before we arrived, if we didn’t have the babies with us. It was one of the nicest things anyone had done for us. We were overwhelmed with gratefulness.
         Everyone wanted to see the babies. Our older kids were the first to hold them and feed them a bottle. They were moved with love. Our friends marveled with us at what God did, and how sweet these two precious baby boys were. It felt wonderful to be in our familiar home, surrounded by our friends and family.
         God is so good.
         We were relieved the babies were finally home with us, but the battle was not over. In bringing them home, we did something I swore I would never do. After the second birth mother changed her mind, I made my husband promise we would not bring a baby home until they were legally ours. It was painful enough to lose a baby before they were born. I knew I didn’t want to be in a position where a birth mother could change her mind after we brought the babies home.
         At the hospital Emma only signed a hospital release form. She had not signed any legal documents toward adoption or relinquishing her parental rights. In our state a birth mother can sign as early as 36 hours after delivery. Initially, I wanted to wait to bring the babies home until they were legally ours. It was so crazy and stressful at the hospital, we took the huge risk of bringing them home with no guarantee.

         You will not believe what happened next.

Do you remember times when God moved mountains for you? 
Has He provided for you even when it didn’t make sense?

*** Click here to read Day 28. ***

Sunday, October 26, 2014

The Decision

Welcome back to Day 26 of Our Adoption Adventure. If you are just joining and would like to read from the beginning, click here.
         Emma’s mother began to lecture us. She started with how their family sticks together, supports each other and takes care of each other. She rambled on and on. I could not tell what the purpose of this talk was about. Was she softening the ground to tell us Emma had changed her mind? Or was she lecturing us about how to take care of the babies? It was impossible to tell. She talked non-stop. Emma sat holding one of the sleeping babies. Her long hair hung down on the baby as she stared at his face. 
         My husband and I were exhausted, emotionally spent and sleep deprived. We sat there and listened, hoping there was a point to it all. I started tuning out when she said,
        “I wish you could take one of the babies and Emma could keep one.”
         Surely that was not the plan. Emma told us on the first day we met her she would never separate them. I prayed silently, “Lord, what do you want us to do?  If you want these babies to come home with us You are going to have to do it.”
         Emma’s mother took a breath and I seized my chance to jump in.
         “Emma, we are not here to ruin your life. We are here because you called us and asked us to adopt these boys. We are only here to help you. If you have changed your mind, just tell us and we will drive home. There will be no hard feelings. We have two great kids and a wonderful life back home. We will not be upset at you. If you want us to adopt them, (I swallowed hard. No tears.) we will love them with everything we have. If you don’t want that, we will give you the car seats and we will go home. We are not here to cause you any pain. What do you want to do?”
         Still looking down at the baby in her lap, she mumbled something none of us could understand. The three of us froze not knowing what she said. I had to ask again,
         “We couldn’t hear you, Emma. What did you say?”
         Tears streaming down her cheeks, she looked up at us, 
         “I said I already made my decision.”
         Still nothing. We had no idea what the decision was. What was she saying?
It was my husband’s turn, “And what decision is that, Emma?”
         “I love these babies so much and I want the best life for them. I can’t do it. I can’t raise them by myself.” Then turning to face her mother, she continued, “Everyone says they will help me, but they don’t. I know because nobody helps with my daughter. I can’t do it Mom. This is the best decision.” She said between sobs.
         Her mom stood and turned to face her. 
        “If you do this you are no longer my daughter. Don’t come home. You are no longer welcome in our house!” Without looking at us she stormed out the door.
         Emma collapsed in a crying mess. I knelt beside her and held her in my arms, hugging her tightly like my own daughter. I tried to reassure her,
        “It’s okay Emma. You made the right decision. It’s going to be okay. We know you love these babies. You made the best decision.” 
         My husband slipped out to find the hospital administrators. The other baby in the bassinet started fussing and I reached in to pick him up. 
         In walked a heavily tattooed young man, with a shaved head, followed by one of the pregnant teen girls we saw earlier. They glared coldly at us as they walked toward me and Emma. He kissed the baby Emma was holding on the head. 
         “You are going to regret this,” he said to her. 
         I was standing next to Emma’s chair. He stepped toward me and touched the baby I was holding on the head. 
Glaring at me, he said under his breath, 
         “You better watch your back.” 
They turned and walked out the door.
         What was that?! What did he mean? What just happened and where was everybody else?
         My husband opened the door, followed by the two hospital administrators and the social worker. They placed the paperwork on a rolling hospital tray table and put it in front of Emma to sign. 
         I gave my husband the baby I was holding, and gently took the baby Emma was holding, so she could sign the papers.
         The hospital administrator read and explained to Emma that she was giving permission for us to take the babies out of the hospital. She asked Emma, 
         “Is this what you want to do?” Emma nodded her head.
         Then, in the bravest display of love I have ever seen, she took the pen and positioned it over the page. She stopped and held the pen above the paper for what seemed like forever. We held our breath. Slowly she put the pen on the paper and deliberately she began to sign her name. When she was finished, she broke down crying again. 
         I put my arms around her. The notary stepped forward and placed another paper in front of Emma. 
         “You need to sign this one also, since there are two babies.” 
           When she was finished, my husband and I, each holding a baby, hugged Emma and said goodbye. She kissed each baby and told them she loved them more than they would ever know. I hugged her tightly. 
         “I don’t want them to hate me,” she said.
         “They won’t hate you, Emma. I will tell them what an amazing mother you are and how much you love them,” I promised.
         We walked out with the nurse. The kind social worker stayed to comfort Emma. She told us she would take care of her, get her a place to stay and get her settled in. She wanted us to take the babies and leave as soon as possible.
         Back in our room the nurse helped us with the discharge instructions, gave us two diaper bags filled with bottles and diapers. We strapped the sweet babies into their car seats. Then the nurse said,
       “I’m going to call Security to walk you to your car. You are going to need it.”


                          *** Click here for Day 27. ***

Saturday, October 25, 2014

TheTwilight Zone

         Thanks to everyone who has been following!
This is Day 25 our Our Adoption Adventure. If you missed the beginning you can click here to catch up.
This is part of a writing challenge to write everyday for the 31 days of October. If you would like to ready many other great blogs, click here at 

          On our third day at the hospital we started to lose hope. Emma kept the babies in her room all day. The more time she spent with them, the more we worried she would back out of the adoption. The comfortable relationship we enjoyed with her those months before she delivered seemed like a distant memory. She didn’t want to talk to us and she had family members in and out of her room constantly.  At 10am the doctor checked the babies and said they were ready to be discharged.
         A hospital administrator and a notary needed to read Emma some legal papers and have her sign to release the babies to us. The nurse called them to come to Emma’s room. We were not sure what we were supposed to do. We received all the information second hand from the nurses. They were for us in this adoption plan from the first night we arrived.
         An hour passed until the administrator and the notary arrived at Emma’s room with the paperwork. My husband and I stood in the hallway outside her door. We assumed after she signed we would take the babies home. We could hear talking inside the room, but could not understand what was being said.
         After about twenty minutes the two hospital administrators walked out. They looked at us and said,
“She’s not ready to sign yet. Have the nurse call us when she is ready and we will come back.”
What? We did not understand.
The nurse came out and explained.
“Emma’s mom called and told her not to sign anything until all the family comes back to say goodbye to the babies. They are calling everyone now.”
What was happening? Had we crossed over into the Twilight Zone?
         We left to go walk around. We didn’t leave the hospital because we wanted to stay close in case we were needed or she signed and we could leave. We wished we could go outside and get some air, but it was overcast and had been raining everyday since we arrived.
         Tired of being cooped up in the tiny room by the nursery, we went down to the main lobby. The black clouds outside made the lobby gloomy. We slumped in a couch and watched a custodian place buckets under holes in the ceiling where the rain was dripping in. This certainly matched our mood.

         People we recognized, from the first day in Emma’s room, walked through the lobby to the elevators. This could take all day.
         Two more hours went by.
         The adoption agency called several times to check on us. We explained the situation. One of the social workers made the long drive to help us. I was so relieved when I saw her. Finally, we had someone with experience in the adoption process and knew what to do. She went in and talked to Emma. Emma was ready to sign. A nurse called the hospital administrators. Their secretary said they had been waiting for two hours for the call to come back, but finally left for their lunch break.
         We went back to our room and talked with the social worker. She was upbeat and encouraged us to hang in there. The three of us prayed for God to intervene in the situation. We prayed He would give Emma the strength to make the best decision and for Him to calm our anxious hearts.
         The minutes dragged by. It seemed to take forever. After another hour the nurse called up to the office. The administrators were back from lunch and wanted someone to check with Emma to make sure she was ready before they came down again. The social worker went in to talk to her. Then she came back to our room and said,
“Emma’s mom wants to talk to both of you.”
         This time there was no crowd of people. Emma sat in a wheel chair still wearing her hospital gown. She held one of the babies closely and kept her head down staring at the baby’s face. She didn’t look at us. Her mother sat next to her, in the only other chair in the room. The bassinet with the other baby in it was in front of them. Not wanting to stand on display again, my husband and sat on the edge of the bed facing them.
         The mother began to lecture us  .  .  .


So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

                       *** Click here for Day 26. ****

Friday, October 24, 2014

A Hard Day's Night

Welcome back to Day 24 of Our Adoption Adventure. Thanks so much for reading! To start from the beginning click here.

         The second day brought more uncertainty. We did not know if Emma was thinking about parenting the babies herself or what she was thinking. We tried to talk to her, but she always had someone in her room. She kept the babies with her the whole day. My husband said,
“The more she bonds with the babies, the harder it will be for her to follow through with the adoption plan.”
         We called home. Our family wanted to know what was happening and if we were bringing the babies home. We did not know. We talked to our two older children at home. They were anxious to know if we were bringing the babies home also.
         The doctor checked the babies. They were healthy and there was no reason for them to stay in the hospital. Emma was healthy and hopefully we could all leave the next day. I prayed it would be in the morning.
         That night we slept in our tiny room attached to the nursery. We were asleep for a few minutes when the crying started. Loudly. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. I tried to determine if it was one of my babies. The child was screaming as if in pain. Should I get up and go check on the baby? Was there a nurse there? After about ten minutes of screaming, we assumed the baby received a bottle and the crying stopped. We dozed off.
Forty-five minutes later more crying started. It started slowly and then ramped up in volume.
Waaah! Waaaaah! Waaaaaaaaaah!

Should I get up? Was there a nurse taking care of that baby? Were they going to let them cry all night? 
Fifteen minutes went by and finally the crying stopped.
Back to sleep.
1:15am the crying woke us up again.
My husband said, “Who thought this was a good idea? Do you think it is too late to go get a hotel?”  
We waited in the darkness debating whether we should pack our things and find a hotel.
Then the crying stopped.
Exhausted we fell back to sleep.
2:00am the crying started back up. It felt like we were in one of those sleep deprivation experiments. Fifteen minutes went by and another baby joined in the crying. Was I supposed to do something? Were those my babies? Did they give us this room so I would check on the boys at night?  I had to go find out.
         Climbing on the mattresses to get to the door, I walked out into the hallway. It was dark except for the small lights of monitors and equipment. I walked around to the front door of the nursery and stuck my head inside. Two nurses were rocking babies in the dimly lit room.
“Are those my babies crying?” I asked.
The nurses turned to look at me. “No, yours are the only ones who aren’t crying. We have been feeding and changing babies all night. ” 
         I looked around and found the twins, swaddled tightly and sleeping side by side in their single bassinet. They looked so sweet together. It was good to know they could sleep through the constant crying of four other babies. Each nurse was trying to calm the baby they held. The loudest crying came from the corner. There was the largest newborn I had ever seen, with a puffy face and rolls of fat on his arms and legs. He was hooked up to some tubes and screaming. His bassinet tilted up so he was almost vertical. He looked like he was three months old.
“Is he all right?” I asked. 
“No, the poor thing has diabetes and is in some pain. There is not much we can do.” One nurse replied.
         This pattern of crying, waking up, sleeping, crying, waking up, sleeping continued until we decided to get up at 5am to see if any restaurants were open.
         Driving slowly back to the hospital, we had lost our joy and energy.  We knew God was in control. We didn’t think we could physically do this anymore. This had to be the day we would go home. This was only the third day, although being awake for two of the nights made it seem like we had been there for a week.
“We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed.” 1 Corinthians 15:51


Have you ever had one of those nights?

***Join me here tomorrow for what we prayed would be our last day at the hospital. ***

Thursday, October 23, 2014

The Waiting Game

Welcome back to Day 23 of Our Adoption Adventure. Click here if you want to read it from the beginning.

         The next morning we had new hope and determination to bring the babies home. We knew newborns and mothers could be discharged from the hospital 24 hours after delivery. It had been longer than 24 hours since they were born. Both boys were healthy and eating and ready to go home.
         The kind nurse, who appeared more serious than she did the day before, greeted us when we arrived at the maternity floor. She said,
“We have a room for you so you can have some privacy when the babies are with you.”
She led us down the hallway toward the newborn nursery.
“The room has a trundle bed, two single beds when the bottom one is pulled out. You are welcome to spend the night there for as long as you are here.” She said.
         She led us to a room next to the newborn nursery. It attached to the newborn nursery and shared a common wall. We might not have taken her up on her offer to spend the night adjacent to the nursery had we thought through that situation. But it was nice to have a place to go where we could be alone with the babies and change them and feed them. Also, we had a place to be when Emma requested the babies to come in her room.

( *** I need to interrupt this story to give some free advice. If you are ever offered a room for the night that is ATTACHED to the newborn nursery at a hospital, I would pass. You know where this is going. ***)

         Certain we would not need to spend the night, because we knew the babies were ready to be discharged, I said,
“Don’t you think the babies will be going home today? I didn’t think we would need to stay another night.”
We arrived at the room. She opened the door and stepped inside to talk to us.
“Oh you haven’t heard.” She said quietly.  “Emma’s mom talked to the doctor and told him Emma has not made up her mind about the adoption and she needs more time. He put in the order for her to stay another night.”
My heart sank. “What? I don’t understand. Has she changed her mind?” I asked.
“We don’t know,” the nurse said. “We think her mother is trying to convince her to keep the babies. After you left the hospital yesterday her mother threw your vase of flowers up against the wall. We have never seen anything like that.” She said looking worried.
“I gave that doctor a piece of my mind though. I let him have it! I told him when those precious baby boys show up here in the ER, like we see every day, that it would be on his shoulders.” She said angrily.
          If the nurses were concerned, I was more concerned. The mama tiger in me wanted to protect those babies with everything I had. “Lord, this can’t be how you want this to end, is it? I prayed.
         After seeing the babies, feeding them and holding them, we resigned ourselves to staying another night to wait for Emma’s decision. We tried to talk to Emma, but she was never alone. Mostly her mother or other family member was in her room talking to her. She looked stressed. Her smile was gone. Her forehead was wrinkled with worry. We had no idea what she was thinking or what her decision would be.
         The room we stayed in all day was small, and did I mention it was attached to the newborn nursery? The length of the room was as long as a twin sized bed, seven to eight feet long. The width was shorter. The bed acted as a couch during the day. The room had a wooden rocking chair, which I grew to love because I rocked the babies in it when it was our turn to have them in our room. A TV was mounted on the wall. When we pulled the trundle bed out to sleep later that night, we laughed. There was no place to stand in the room. We had to step on the beds to get to the door.
         I couldn’t bare the thought of another day of tension, conflict and worry. I read my Bible in the room. We prayed together and went back and forth from begging God to let us adopt the babies, to giving the situation over to Him. It was out of our control. All we could do was wait and pray. My husband also watched sports on the TV to try to take his mind off of the consuming stress. We called home to relay the news and asked for continued prayer. The minutes seemed like hours and the hours seemed like days. It felt like we had been there for a week and it was only the second day.

“But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior. My God will hear me.” Micah 7:7
“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me. He turned to me and heard my cry.”  Psalm 40:1

Have you ever had to wait for something or someone that was completely out of your control?

*** Join me here tomorrow for Day 24. ***