Monday, May 5, 2014

Confessions of a Baseball Mom: Looking Back

Looking back at our kid’s time in sports is eye opening. There is a nine -year difference between our older two, and our twin boys. When our older son was in sports, especially baseball, everything was so important. It was important which position he played. How many innings he played was important. Whether the team won or lost was important. If he made it on a club team or the varsity high school team was important. I hate to admit it, but at times we were consumed with our kid’s sports.
Years later when we were, again, sitting on the sidelines at our twin boy’s soccer games, it did not seem so important. What position they played, how much playing time they got, or what the score was at the end of the game just didn’t matter anymore. We would sit in the shade in our folding chairs and watch as the other parents stood and paced up and down the sidelines yelling at their five year old to kick the ball into the goal. We looked at each other and admitted how foolish we had been to act like that. At the end of their time with us, after they moved out of the house, it did not matter how many games they won or lost when they were five or fifteen. It is amazing how a few years and (dare I say it?) age, can change your perspective.
Our older two are married and have been out of our house a few years. We were given the privilege of a ‘do over.’ We made it through the toddler years twice. We went through the preschool and elementary school years twice. We are watching our boys play sports, and sitting on the sidelines, again. We are also in the home stretch of getting two, soon to be young adults, through middle school. It has not always been easy, but we have enjoyed every season. We love our boys and are thankful we get to continue parenting after our older kids left the nest.
Because we had a different perspective and the advantage of experience, we decided to do some things differently.
This time around we decided to:
Look for the good, instead of pointing out the things they needed to work on.
Instead of teaching them about God’s rules for life, we would teach them more about how much God loves them.
Instead of focusing on their report card grades, we would focus more are how much they are learning.
Instead of trying to have a spotless house, we (I) let them play in the mud, get dirty, take apart old appliances and have a million nuts, bolts and tools spread on their floor.
Instead of admiring animals from a distance, we let them catch and keep every kind of lizard, frog, tarantula and snake they wanted to. (The snakes have to stay outside though!)
Instead of striving so hard for the end result, we are enjoying our boys and the journey more. Four more years and our parenting will be done. They will always be our sons, but we won’t always have the influence we have with them now. Having experienced the high school years before, we know that time flies by. In the blink of an eye they will be finished and moved out. I will have plenty of time to have a clean house then.
It is fun to look back, but we are also enjoying the present season. How about you?

Coach Dad and our 14 year old soccer sons.

For more lessons we learned click here.



  1. Parenting,grandparenting, and now great-grandparenting never ends - gratefully! Different perspectives, responsibilities, and insights help us to help our extended family in many different ways. It's wonderful, perplexing, and challenging all at the same time, but we all have our Wonderful Lord and Savior as our Supreme example! We love it!! ~~~ Jan

  2. Grateful to be doing it one last time as well. A lot more grace this time, I hope. And maybe less stress. Looking forward to new chapters with the olders as well, though!

  3. I agree Jan and Michele! I have enjoyed every stage and season with my kids.