Desperate to Hear God

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          I sat alone in my dorm room crying. How had I fallen this far away from God? I was miserable, lonely, and empty. I sobbed at my desk, makeup running down my face, big blubbering sobs. I hated my life and everything I was doing and had no hope for my future or plan to get out of my situation. I was failing college, but more importantly I missed my relationship with God. 

Thinking back, I remembered as a young girl, I could not wait to get baptized. When my Dad prayed with me and I asked Jesus to be the Lord of my life and committed to follow Him, I meant every word and my life changed. I loved reading the Bible, loved going to church, loved learning about God and His Son. I grew up in a military family, so we moved every two years. Every place we moved, we found a church and started attending. I was the most enthusiastic about going to church, and when my family didn’t go, God always provided a friend or another family who took me to church. I couldn’t get enough. I loved singing praise songs to Him. I loved memorizing Bible verses. As I grew older, I went to church camps and attended and led Bible studies during high school.

Somewhere along the line I walked away from God. It makes me sad to admit it now, even many years later. But, I turned my back and walked away from the God who loved me so dearly and had been with me everywhere I went. Foolishly, I decided to see what life was like doing the things college life had to offer.

So, there I was that dark night all alone. I felt like I was in a dark pit and had no idea how to get out. Through my tears I cried up at my ceiling,

“Help me God! I don’t know how to get back to You. What do I do?”

 I poured out my heart to Him and told Him how sorry I was for the stupid things I had been doing. I wanted to be done with that life, but I didn’t know how to take the first step. I had not gone to church in a couple of years and did not know any Christians who I could ask for help.

After several hours of crying and begging God to show me how to get back to Him, I collapsed in a heap. I knew God spoke to people in the Bible, and I wanted so much to hear His voice, for Him to tell me what to do and show me the way out of the pit I was in. I didn’t hear His voice that night, but I knew He heard mine. I knew He loved me and He would show me how to find Him again.   

(Part 2 tomorrow)

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Have you ever been desperate to hear God? Did you know then that He loved you and heard your prayer, even if you didn't hear Him? Please share in the comments below.

If you would like to read some great stories of people who have heard God speak to them, click on one of the links below. This is Day 29 in a series about Hearing God. It is part of a writing challenge at www.write31days.com. When you finish reading here, please hop over to that site for many great topics and blogs.

Day 1: Take Off Your Sandals
Day 2:  God in the Grocery Store
Day 3:  God in the Grocery Store - Part2
Day 4:  Peeking During Prayer
Day 5:  How Do We Know God's Voice?
Day 6:  A Young Mom, Toddler Toys and Hearing God
Day 7:  Hearing God When Making Decisions
Day 8:  Lining Up Those Ducks
Day 9:   Hearing God for Our Kids
Day 10: God or Genie in a Bottle?
Day 11: The Perfect Day to Hear God
Day 12: Hearing God in a Crisis
Day 13:  7 Ways to Test an Impression
Day 14:  Remote Assignment
Day 15:  God's Silence
Day 16:  Hearing God While Dating
Day 17:  Hearing God Bible Verses
Day 18:  What Others Say About Hearing God
Day 19:  Hearing God Through Distractions
Day 20:  Hearing God as a Child
Day 21:  Hearing God in Confusion
Day 22:  Hearing God's Encouraging Voice
Day 23:  Hearing God on a Tractor
Day 24:  An Email Confirmation
Day 25:  Do You Really Want to Hear From God?
Day 26:  Why Hear God?
Day 27:  Are You Texting God?
Day 28:  Hearing God in Our Depression
Day 29:  To Hear God We Must Know God
Day 30:
Day 31: Desperate to Hear God (Part 2)