A Closer Walk: "Mommy, You Need God."

Getting a spanking after mass, for not paying attention, gave my friend, Amber, a negative view of God and church at an early age. She viewed God as harsh and unloving. Amber grew up not knowing anything about the Bible, or about a Heavenly Father who loved her. Her life was centered on herself, her pleasure, her materialism, pride and arrogance. This lead her to a life of destruction.

Here is Amber’s story:

“I was always around drugs and alcohol but never experienced using them until I was 23. I started drinking at the clubs which led to cocaine use. I met Johnny my senior year of college when I started drinking and drugs. Quickly he moved in with me. I was partying, not coming home and very destructive in our relationship. Our relationship was toxic. He was controlling and we yelled at each other and fought often.

After about a year of constant partying and cocaine use I got pregnant with our first child. Marriage was not an option, we lived together during my pregnancy and I was sober.

          My daughter was four months old when my life really spiraled down hill. I was driving to Albuquerque from Santa Fe and was pulled over for drinking and driving. I was arrested and the tow truck driver that impounded my car turned out to be a family friend. He called my mom to get my daughter before CYFD did. I stayed in jail for about two weeks. My father was secretary of corrections at the time which compromised my life. I could have been killed if the other jail mates knew this.

         While I was in my addiction Johnny and my family begged me to go to rehab. I first refused because I did not want to leave my daughter. Also, I was so materialistic I did not want to lose my house and not be able to buy clothes, shoes and the things I wanted. I was so prideful that I thought rehab was only for those who lived on the streets and did street drugs. I figured I had an education and owned my own house. Why would I jeopardize my reputation? I did not look at alcohol and cocaine as drugs.

         Johnny and I were in a custody battle for our daughter. I was alone. Nobody wanted me to care for her. He hired a lawyer to take her away from me. After my DWI, I was facing felony charges as well as a DWI. I did not care about the DWI charge, but was terrified of the felony charge. After completing my dietetic internship there would be no way I would ever get a job as a Dietician if I was a felon. I hired a lawyer and made a plea deal. I would have a conditional discharge of the felony as long as I did two years of supervised probation and my DWI would be a conditional discharge. I took the plea. I was placed on house arrest for a month because my charge came with jail time; again my life was jeopardized going back to jail so I did house arrest.

In March of 2012, Johnny, our daughter and I drove to Santa Fe to eat dinner. Our daughter was about nine months old. We were involved in a fatal DWI crash where two teenage sisters were killed in the accident. Two others were in critical condition and many hurt. One would think I would sober up and change my life after this accident but I did not, instead I played the victim role because I lost my car. I lost my lap top which had all my work to complete my internship. Then I started partying again while I was on probation. Soon enough I violated my probation and was put in jail.

There was no other choice but to go into rehab. This time I finally turned to God and asked for help. He answered my prayer, even though I only prayed selfish prayers when I was in trouble and was desperate for His help. God blessed me by allowing me to go to a rehab/transition home where I was able to take my daughter part-time. I finally opened my eyes. I was placed in a home with felony woman coming out of prison who had always lived a life on the streets, prostitution and drugs. It was scary living there. The women would do heroin and awful things while in the Rehab. I was in shock. Again my life was jeopardized because of my father’s position with the Corrections Department. The staff and probation officers were aware of this and worked hard to protect me."