The Happiness Project

         

Do you have the ability to make yourself more happy? That was the question Gretchen Rubin asked herself a few years ago. She wasn’t depressed. In fact she viewed herself as a fairly happy person. She had a good life, was happily married, had two young daughters, she lived in her favorite city, New York and was a full-time writer. One day she realized life goes by fast and she didn’t think she appreciated her life very much. She complained and nagged too much. She wanted to be grateful and enjoy her life more. So, she decided to start a yearlong Happiness Project.

She came up with a list of areas in her life which she thought could use more happiness. They were Marriage, Parenting, Friends, Eternity, Attitude, Work, Play, Passion, Energy, Money and Mindfulness. She decided she would work on each one for a month and then add in the next area. For the month of December she would practice all the areas together.

She didn’t have much support when discussing this project. At first her family members, friends and even her husband thought it was a waste of time because she appeared to be happy enough. She decided to persevere anyway. She researched each area, created charts to mark her progress, and came up with some over arching principles she would incorporate into each month.

In January she began with the area of Energy. She wrote out what she could do to increase her energy. She thought she would need more energy to get through the rest of the areas and she knew she would be happier with increased energy. She made a list of things to do and then checked off each day as she did them.

Her action steps for January were:

         Go to sleep earlier.

         Exercise better.

         Toss, restore, and organize.

         Tackle a nagging task.

         Act more energetic.

It was interesting reading about her experiences and how she made a conscious effort to improve in these particular areas. Sometimes it came easy and sometimes she had to force herself to do things. She tried something and then reported whether it worked or not and at the end of each month she asked herself if she was happier than she was at the beginning of the month.

At the end of the book she encourages people to start their own Happiness Project. Each person is different and would have different areas of their life that are important to them, so each monthly list would be unique. She offers helpful resources on her website (gretchenrubin.com). 

         If you would like to increase your happiness, which area would you want to work on? Would you choose one of Gretchen Rubin’s categories? I would not have thought about Energy as a means to more happiness, but after making a concentrated effort to improve in that area, she decided having more energy did improve her happiness.

The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy.

 My purpose is to give life in all its fullness. John 10:10

 (This is part of a 31 day writing challenge, to write on the same topic everyday in October. This series is Joy in the Journey. To read others in this series, click here.)

 Joyfully,
 

Day 15 - Who Are We?

One of the things that has brought the most joy is understanding who God says I am and how God sees me. I read about it first in Dr. Neil Anderson’s book, Victory Over the Darkness. In it he says, “The more you reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior will begin to reflect your true identity.” He goes over a list of statements with scriptures that show who God says we are.

Instead of believing we are randomly placed on earth or somehow evolved and are left here to figure out life, these verses show we were created by a loving God who has a plan and purpose for our lives. We don’t need to feel insecure when we know who we are in Christ. If you are a follower of Christ:

You are God’s child.       John 1:12

As a disciple, you are a friend of Jesus.       John 15:15

You have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.    Ephesians 1:3-8

You are free from condemnation.       Romans 8:1-2

You are a citizen of heaven.      Philippians 3:20

         You are God’s workmanship.  Ephesians 2:10

         You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.    Philippians 4:13

         You are important.          1 Peter 2:9

You are forgiven.           Psalm 103:12

You are a new creation.  2 Corinthians 5:17

You are protected.                   Psalm 121:3

You are unique.              Psalm 139:13

You are created for a purpose.    Jeremiah 29:11

         Do you see yourself as the child of the almighty God? He created you uniquely special, to fulfill His plan for your time on earth. He loves you enough to send His son to die on a cross for you. He gave you His Holy Spirit to help guide you everyday. He is always with you and will never leave you. He wants you to talk to Him and desires a personal relationship with you.

In the greatest act of kindness, He has forgiven us of our sins. He has wiped our past away and promises a hope and a good future for us. He accepts us just the way we are and loves us more than we can imagine. He speaks to us directly through His Word and the Holy Spirit. He promises us heaven after we die. He cares about the details of our lives and we can tell Him anything and He listens to us and hears our prayers.

Knowing that God loves me and has a plan for my life gives me the most joy!

I hope it gives you joy as well!

(This is part of a 31 day writing challenge, to write on the same topic everyday in October. This series is Joy in the Journey. To read others in this series, click here.)

 Joyfully,

 

Day 13 - Words or Numbers?

         

Are you a word person or a number person? I’m a word person. I love words, reading them and writing them. Numbers, not so much. In our business we deal with both. We are constantly writing, reading, proofing and arranging words. We are also constantly measuring, adding, multiplying and calculating square footage.

         Recently, our bookkeeper of fifteen years had the nerve to retire at 75 years old. My first question when she gave notice was, “Why?”  That left me to do the bookkeeping, payroll, billing, profit and loss and of course the T word – taxes.

         I haven’t been a person who gives myself pep talks. In fact, I didn’t even notice what effect my thoughts were having on my job. At first this new position was frustrating. Everything felt like I was learning Greek. My thoughts didn’t help. I kept thinking, “I can’t do this. This is too hard. Why do we have to do things this way? This is overwhelming.” Needless to say I was frustrated and overwhelmed.

          When I came to something difficult or had to figure out where I messed up and why things weren’t balancing, I wanted to give up. I regretted not hiring an experienced bookkeeper. I thought, “What in the world made me think I could do this? This is beyond my capability and skill set.”

But as I worked at it day after day and asked questions of our previous bookkeeper and my accountant friend, I started to understand. In order to stay focused and not get up and leave my problem, I had to tell myself, “You can do this. Stick it out. You can figure it out. The solution is here somewhere.” Self-talk and of course, Google helped me stay with it.

My defeating thoughts did not help at all. It was not until I consciously started encouraging myself to stay with it, that I could finally make sense of all the numbers.

Negative thoughts never helped anybody. They pull us down, keep us from following our dreams and accomplishing our goals. Negative thoughts can lead to depression, isolation and poor decision-making. If we are what we think, then thinking negative thoughts makes us a negative person. Are we always pointing out the problems to people? Do we automatically see the reasons a plan or project won’t work? Do we naturally think of a better, more efficient way someone could have done something? Those thoughts make us negative and hinder our joy.

It’s the positive person who encourages others, cheers them on when they attempt something new, applauds someone else's plan or proposal and is quick to say, “That’s a great idea!” We all need people in our life who encourage us and point out the positive in a situation. If we don’t have encouraging people in our life, we may have to encourage ourselves. I love the verse in 1 Samuel 30:6:

David was greatly distressed because the people spoke of stoning him, for all the people were embittered, each one because of his sons and his daughters. 

But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God.  1 Samuel 30:6

If you are caught in the downward spiral of negative self-talk, let me encourage you to take your thoughts captive and give yourself a pep talk.

You can do it! You have the power of the Holy Spirit inside you. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom in your situation. Start looking for the good and positive things about your life and not only will it increase your joy, but you can spread that joy to others as well.

  

(This is part of a 31 day writing challenge, to write on the same topic everyday in October. This series is Joy in the Journey. To read others in this series, click here.)  

 Joyfully,

 

Day 12 - Live it!

(This is part of a 31 day writing challenge, to write on the same topic for everyday in October, called Joy in the Journey. To read others in this series, click here. )

         It is one thing to talk about Joy in the Journey, but another thing to live it out. On Day 10 I talked about Tommy Newberry’s book, the 4:8 Principle. He must have realized it is hard to live out joy also, so he wrote a companion book a few years later called 40 Days to a Joy-Filled Life. He takes the principles from the first book based on Philippians 4:8 

Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praise-worthy, meditate on these things.

         The second book is broken into 40 short, applicable sections. Each day he writes about a principle, then asks some application questions and has the reader apply it to their lives. It is a useful tool if you are struggling with finding joy.

         On Day 29 called Way to Go! he writes about the joy of other people’s success. An important part of having joy is being able to be happy for others. He says we can have success without it interfering with other people’s goals or dreams and others can succeed without it hindering us. In fact, hearing about other people’s success can inspire us to go for our own goals. In this section he says:

“If you’d be proud of your son or daughter for accomplishing some feat, celebrate anyone else who does something similar.”

“Work to become genuinely happy for others when they succeed, 

get promoted, or win the top prize.”

“If you are secure in God’s love, you know that he has a plan for you, and you are not threatened by others’ talents or successes. Applaud what God is doing through others because whatever he accomplished in their lives, he can accomplish in yours also.”

“When you see someone get the promotion that you wanted, it can be a real bummer. Difficult as it is, thank God for the other person’s success.”

“One of the best things we can do to overcome envy or jealousy is to pray for others to be blessed in the way we desire to be blessed. It’s the ultimate application of the Golden Rule.”

Being genuinely happy for other people when they succeed is a habit that might take practice. It starts with kids on any type of team when the coaches make the kids shake hands with the other team and say the obligatory “Good game.” Win or lose it is important to teach kids to be good sports and be okay with not winning. Hopefully, this simple ritual transitions to being happy for others as we become adults.

God loves all of us equally and there is plenty of room at the table for everyone to step up and eat at the table of success. We want to cheer on what God is doing in other people’s lives, because what He accomplishes through them, He can accomplish through us.

A wonderful byproduct of being happy for others is that it increases our joy as well.

“When others are happy, be happy with them. 

If they are sad, share their sorrow.”

 Romans 12:15

Joyfully,

 

Day 11- When There is No Joy

As much as I believe we can increase our joy, I know there are days when we just can’t. I think we can make conscious decisions to think positively, give some energy to our life and look for the good. But I also know sometimes we just can’t.  I don’t believe encouraging someone to count their blessings is a trite platitude. I know it can really help with our mindset.

        

But I also know sometimes we just can’t. There will be days it will be impossible to choose joy and that is okay too.

        

Death.                                                                                                                   Shame.

Loss.                                                                                                    Sadness.

Depression.                                                                Struggles.

Divorce.                                         Disappointment.

Disease.                       Pain.

Worry.       Grief.

Sometimes life hits us too hard and we just can’t choose joy.

        

Life is hard and bad things happen. There will be days or seasons in our life when joy seems impossible. Our natural reaction when bad things happen is to retreat, to be alone with our pain, like a wounded animal retreats to a secluded place to lick his wounds.

What we shouldn’t do is retreat from God. During those tough times we feel like shutting everyone out to be alone with our pain, the Bible says we should lean in to God.

David was greatly distressed because the people spoke of stoning him, for all the people were embittered, each one because of his sons and his daughters. 

But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God.  1 Samuel 30:6

The LORD also will be a stronghold for the oppressed,

a stronghold in times of trouble.  Psalm 9:9

The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  Psalm 18:2

It is during those times when life hits us the hardest that we need God the most. In fact, many people first come to God when they are at their lowest. People look for God and know innately they need Him when there is a death, a tragedy or personal crises. We instinctively know during those times there is a God and He really does love us and cares about the details of our life. If He knows the hairs on our head, He certainly cares about what we are going through.

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:13-14

         If you are having a day or a season when it is impossible to choose joy, lean in to the Lord. Pray. He already knows, but it helps us when we pour out our concerns to Him, knowing He always hears us and has compassion. This is one of the best times to memorize and meditate on scripture. Find a verse that speaks to you and commit it to memory, rehearsing it over and over, marinating your mind with hope.

         If today is a hard day for you, please know I am praying for you, and lean in to the God who created you, loves you more than you know, and will be with you through it.

**(This is part of a 31 day series on finding Joy in the Journey. If you want to read more related posts click here. )** 


 Joyfully,