When the Most Wonderful Time of the Year is Not

         The most wonderful time of the year can be the hardest time of the year also. We look forward to the Christmas season with such high hopes and anticipation for Peace on Earth and Joy to the World. And it is all that. The birth of Jesus is the birth of our hope to have a real and personal lifeline to the God of the universe. There is no denying that without His birth, death and resurrection, we would be dead in our sins and for eternity. We are so appreciative for all He has done and continues to do in our lives and families.

         It is all the extra stuff about Christmas that can be hard. It is the traditions we associate with the season. We know all the commercialism of Christmas is not the real reason we celebrate, and yet we can’t avoid it. We can’t get away from the Christmas music, the Christmas shows and commercials, the decorations, even the colder weather brings the anticipation that everything is going to be cozy and bright.

     
Yet, the reality for many is far from the Hallmark card wishes we send out. So many have lost loved ones this year, and the holidays will never be the same. Memories flood back to the good times and amplify the empty place this year.  People who have divorced or are separated from their spouse this year ache for the happier Christmases of the past as well. Friends fighting cancer or staying in the hospital over the holiday wonder how next Christmas will be. Friends who have had surgery or are sick and not able to ‘do Christmas’ the way they want because they are confined to the house, recliner or bed are disappointed. There is also the list of friends who have lost jobs recently and are unsure what the New Year brings. They can’t relax and enjoy the silent nights because of the anxiousness in their hearts.

         

         Just watching the news, the reality is we don’t have Peace on Earth, in our country or around the world.

         I don’t mean for this to be a downer of a post. I really don’t. I just want to acknowledge that this time of year can be especially hard. When our expectations exceed our reality there is disappointment. I’m not sure how to lower our expectations with the music blaring ‘it’s the most wonderful time of the year.’

         I want to acknowledge to my friends and those reading that I am sorry for the added hurt this season brings. In most families, everything is not all cheery and bright.

         I pray in the coming new year, that the baby born in the manger will comfort your heart, fill the loneliness, heal you and your loved ones, and bless you in a new and unexpected way.

Grace

         I didn’t know what the principal would say and neither did he. My son broke one of the school policies and we knew there would be a tough consequence. We thought it would either be a three-day suspension or expelled from the school. I didn’t particularly want to tell on my son, but I had to speak to the principal about another important matter, which related to the policy, so it was sure to come up.

         Never one to bail my kids out, I was willing for him to receive whatever consequence the school wanted to give him. “Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time.” I thought, in the name of tough love. (It was not an actual crime, just a school policy.  :) )

         My son was repentant. He cried. He knew the consequences would be severe. We drove to school as he thought of his friends and the schoolwork he wanted to turn in, before he was called in to face the music.

         I parked the car and he walked in to class. I walked down the hall to the principal’s office. The receptionist said the principal would not be in that day. The counselor was unavailable, and the other administrator was on his way to a meeting. Finally, a teacher approached me and I explained my dilemma. She offered to help me and confirmed that the consequences of his actions were usually more severe than I anticipated. But, she said since it was an isolated incident, and my son could fix it, there would be no repercussions this time. Then she left for her classroom.

GRACE

The free and unmerited favor of God

         I stood in the empty hallway and smiled at God. It is a good thing God loves that boy so much. I thought to myself. Only God could have arranged the timing when nobody but the one teacher was available, and she had a solution.

         Later, when I picked my son up from school he reluctantly climbed in the car. He said he had a terrible day, waiting to be called into the office at anytime. He couldn’t eat anything and was sick with worry. He said He prayed all day, telling God He was sorry and truly wanted to follow Him. He thought that would be his last day at school and he begged God to be able to stay.

         When I told him he had received grace, he couldn’t believe it. He eyes lit up and a smile beamed across his face. He said, “That is God! He answered my prayer.”

         I agreed and told him, “God must really love you son, to give you grace in this situation. And you know why He did it? Because you are special to Him and He has a wonderful plan and purpose for your life. Apparently, His plan did not include suffering the consequences of your actions at school today.”

         He was overwhelmed. “I don’t know what to say.” He said, still grinning ear to ear. “That is amazing.”

         I told him about a time when his brother got in trouble at school for doing something “everybody else was doing.” I told his brother the Lord has a higher call on His life. He wanted to teach him to walk in obedience, so he got caught when others didn’t.

         But this time, years later, the Lord rescued this son, but taught an equally important lesson. Sometimes, even when we don’t deserve it, God gives grace. My son promised not to do it again, and said he knew better than to take advantage of God’s kindness. Then, as he stepped out of the car he said,

“Mom, you can write about this if you want to.”

Thanks son.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, and are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 

    Don’t you love it when you receive Grace instead of what you deserve?

Don't We All Have a Little Scarlett O'Hara in Us?

         Do you remember the scene in Gone With the Wind where Scarlett O’Hara is desperate for money to save her southern plantation? She lost everything in the Civil War and had to work in the hot sun, picking cotton, to keep it going. She decided to visit the wealthy Rhett Butler and ask for money. She didn’t want to show up looking like a field hand, so she made an elaborate dress out of the ornate curtains in her living room. She meets Rhett and talks to him as if her life is going great, and she doesn’t have a care in the world. He is happy to see her, until he looks at her hands. He sees how rough and weathered they are and realizes the meeting was a charade, because she had been working in the fields, was penniless, and wanted money from him.

         I never understood that scene until I saw it again recently. She was pretending to be someone she was not, or at least, she was not representing her reality. She was doing her best to make herself and her situation appear better. 

         I remembered this scene, as I was getting ready for a networking meeting. I didn’t want to wear the old work shirt with our company name and logo on it. It’s not that I’m ashamed of the company, it’s that the shirt is old, too small and not in style anymore. It looks more like a mechanic’s shirt, than a marketing shirt. Envisioning the other women at the meeting wearing cute, stylish clothes, I wanted to wear something else. However, the truth is, November is a slow month for our company, and anytime we can get our name out there, it helps bring in jobs. But, like Scarlett, I didn’t want to appear desperate. I wanted to appear confident, like everything was going great.

         Don’t we all do that at times? A women wears a beautiful wedding ring, even though their marriage is anything but shiny. People drive expensive cars they can't afford. Others brag about their kid’s success, but leave out the reality of their strained relationship. Don’t most people present an I-have-it-all-together image on Facebook and social media, when their life may really be unraveling?

         Thankfully, God knows our reality. We don’t have to put on a fancy drapery dress and try to impress Him. He knows when our life is difficult  - maybe not picking cotton in the fields – but still painful and hard.  He loves us and has a plan for our lives.

         Unlike Scarlett O’Hara, we don’t have to rely on our land or Rhett Butler to survive. We have a God who loves us and will provide for us from His abundant riches. We know, as Believers, what David said is true:

“Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.”         

 Psalm 54:4

          Even though I didn’t want to, I wore my company shirt to the meeting. I prayed and trusted God would provide for us through the lean months, as He has for so many years.

               Have you ever acted like you had it all together, when you were really going through a rough time?

Leaving a Legacy

Memories are an amazing gift. Both my husband and my earliest childhood memory is of learning to tie our shoes.  Why is it we can remember some events with precise detail from years ago, but can’t remember other more recent events at all?

Last night we were at a home group Bible study.

We were discussing who God is . . .

         which led to how God has always wanted a relationship with us,

                           which led to when God’s presence dwelt with mankind,

                                           which led to a discussion of the tabernacle,

                                                               which let to us passing around a                                                                                                                   replica of a tabernacle for                                                                                                                   everyone to see.

          We discussed the details of the tabernacle and what items were in it. The most important part of the tabernacle was the Holy of Holies because God’s presence hovered above the Ark of the Covenant. (You know the Ark of the Covenant from the first Indiana Jones movie.)

          Inside the ark were three items:

a jar of manna,

the stone tablets with the ten commandments written on them,

and Aaron’s staff, which budded.

         Last night, after the Bible study was over, our 24-year-old son and his wife stayed and talked to us. He said he knew the staff budded because that was God’s way of choosing Aaron as the high priest over the other leaders from the twelve Israelite tribes. It is a small detail in the Bible, but very specific. We asked him how he knew that detail.

         He said when he was young I led a mom’s Bible study at our house. The mom’s brought their kids, about 12 kids in all. While the mom’s were studying the Tabernacle in the living room, one of the kid’s grandparents offered to teach this group of kids about the Tabernacle, upstairs in another room. For twelve weeks this amazingly generous couple spent two hours each week teaching those kids the details of the Tabernacle, using a flannel board and other props. They also brought snacks and games.

He said,

“Mom, that was the first Bible study I was ever in and I remember all about the Tabernacle from that couple teaching us. They were amazing. They were always prepared and had a flannel board and pictures. It was great.” 

My son was 4 years old!

         Four years old, and he remembers - twenty years later, about the details of the Tabernacle in the Bible because of the lavish love this couple had for the Lord, the Bible and teaching those kids.

          I am overwhelmed with gratefulness, again, for their amazing servant hearts. At the time, I thought it was so kind of them to take the kids so the mom’s could study the Bible. Little did I know what an impact it would have on my kids and our family.

To my friends reading this who teach little ones at church, Sunday school, Bible study and preschool:

               What you are doing is important and these kids do remember.                               Thanks for leaving a legacy!

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
 Matthew 19:14

A Changed Life

 “Do you want to do something beautiful for God? There is a person who needs you. This is your chance.”                                                       

-Mother Teresa

                                                                      
  

          A rough looking man with a long gray ponytail approached me. I was volunteering at the Guest Information table in the lobby of the high school where our church meets.

Looking at the stack of CDs on the table, he asked,

“Do you have last week’s sermon?”

“I’m sorry, we are all out of that one.” I said. “You can watch the sermon online at the website though.” I offered to him.

“Nah, I don’t have a computer.” He said, noticeably disappointed.

“Last week, I was high when I got here and can’t really remember what the preacher said. But I knew I needed to come back here. Now I am wondering what he said that made me have to come back.”

         The previous week we grilled New Mexican green chili cheeseburgers in the courtyard, after the church service. We invited friends and neighbors to join us for the free cookout.  A neighbor invited him, and he came back again this week.

         I offered to order the CD of the message from the previous week for him and have it at the table  the next Sunday.  I wasn’t sure he would be back. He didn’t look like the church going type.

         To my surprise, the following Sunday he walked up to the table eager to see me. I spoke first,

“Hi! Guess what? I have the CD of the message you wanted.”

“You do?” he asked. He walked around behind the table and gave me the biggest bear hug I have had. “You are the best! Thank you so much! I like this church. I think I am going to keep coming back.”

         Week after week, he faithfully attended church. He met people, asked questions, and enjoyed hearing God’s Word preached.

         A year later, at the next church cookout, he climbed into the outdoor baptism tank. His eyes sparkled and he grinned ear to ear, as he stepped forward to the microphone. To the crowd of several hundred people he said,

“My neighbor invited me to this church last year. I learned about a God who loves me and has forgiven me for everything I have done. He has changed my whole life.” He said, choking up. “I only wish I had found Him earlier in my life.”

         I admire the neighbor who befriended him and invited him to church. He had not come for the first few months, but she kept inviting him. He finally decided to attend because we were having a cookout with free green chili cheeseburgers. That day his life was changed.

I love the verse in Romans 2:4

“Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can't you see that His kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?”

        

         It was God’s kindness, through his neighbor, that changed that man forever. He only wished he had known of God sooner.

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Has someone shown you God’s kindness? Do you look for ways to show His kindness to others?