Depression to Joy

          Life is hard, and even though an encounter with God can change us, it doesn’t mean that life is suddenly perfect. God does promise to be with us through our struggles though.

For the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

Here is my friend Laura’s story:

         “Depression grabbed hold of me from a very young age, making life dark.  I always had a void, and I tried filling it with many things (food, exercise, bad relationships) that never satisfied and left me wanting more.

         Raised in a Lutheran church, somehow I missed that God wanted a relationship with me.  To me church was recitation, rituals, and traditions.  In college I reached a point where I decided to walk away from God because I didn’t see what he was doing for me. 

         I convinced myself for many years that taking full control felt great, but in reality I was selfish and out of control.  Depression, insecurities, eating disorders, destructive relationships, I was constantly managing how in-control I truly was.  Life blew up on me in my late twenties when I made a series of decisions that sabotaged everything important to me.  I was completely self-centered and used lies and deception to maintain an image of perfect control while doing whatever I wanted.  I was miserable, didn’t value my life, and landed in the hospital several times within a few months.  It was during one January afternoon, after what would be the last hospital stay, that I remember feeling for the umpteenth time that hollow feeling, uncertain how to move forward by myself. 

         It was in that moment I felt hope wash over me like never before.  It felt like someone lifted me and carried me when I didn’t have the strength to lift myself.  It was a power that could not be explained by anything except God.  For the first time in my life I realized I was in need of a Savior. 

         I ruined my life, was drowning in the guilt, and I couldn’t make things right on my own.  I was a mess and an enormous failure at being perfect.   God showed me his face that cold, sunny afternoon, and I knew in my heart it was Him. 

         I decided to start a new life with Him.  It was a shaky road for a while, but I was determined to abandon my previous life and ways.  God empowered every step and continues to do so.  He brought me into beautiful, healthy relationships and helped restore relationships.  He blessed me with a beautiful family and filled that huge void in me with love…His love.  My love, fire and passion for God grows stronger the more I learn about His Word, talk with Him, and live life with Him by my side. 

         Everyday life is not without its challenges.  I still battle the enemy’s attempts to ensnare me with insecurities, doubt, and emptiness.  Those attacks are at times more focused and frequent than before life in Christ.  However, I have hope and strength through it all.  Instead of fighting those battles with my own feeble strength, I draw close to God and protect myself with His armor.  I take comfort that I am forgiven and righteous.  I am saved and will live forever with Him in heaven.  I have a heart for God and a heart for people.   However He chooses to use me during my time on this Earth given those two passions, I’m savoring every step of the journey.” 

Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. Psalm 30:5

Have you ever been depressed and needed God to lift you up? What did you do to reach out to Him?

Meeting My Messiah

          It was appropriate that I met Anne on Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. Anne is Jewish and grew up going to synagogue on Long Island, New York. She remembers walking many miles in her dress shoes to get to the synagogue, because her parents did not drive on the Holy Days. She remembers sitting beside her father, who wore a tallit, a Jewish prayer shawl, and playing with the tzitzit, the tassels attached to the prayer shawl. Her grandmother took her family to Israel when Anne was 16. It was very meaningful to her and solidified her strong sense of who she was as a Jew.

          She went to Hebrew school and learned to read and write Hebrew. She inherited her family’s Passover Seder plate, which was passed down from generation to generation by those who fled Europe. She enjoyed her heritage and kept the Holy Days and traditions. In fact, her cousins called her a Super Jew.

          In her 20’s and 30’s, she started to sense an emptiness. She was confused and started looking into other religions, Buddhism, new age, spiritualism. She looked into everything except Christianity. Christianity was taboo. The only Christians she knew were Irish and Italian Catholics from her neighborhood. They were steeped in their religion as much as she was in hers.

          During this time she was searching for something, but she didn’t know what it was. She read many self-help books, and took classes that explored self and spirituality. She married a Jewish man and together they attended a more egalitarian synagogue. It was more contemporary than the one she grew up in. Women were allowed to participate more and share some of the elements during the worship. Even though she was still very Jewish in her heart, she felt as if something were missing.

          After moving to Albuquerque, she attended synagogue with her husband and family, but was still on a personal journey searching for what was missing in her life. One day as she was driving, she stumbled upon a Christian radio station. A Jewish Rabbi was talking about his relationship with Jesus. She pulled the car over so she could hear his whole story. It was fascinating. She had never heard anything like it.

          About this time, she was sitting in a doctor’s office waiting room. She knew the main doctor was Jewish because of his last name, but the waiting room was filled with Christian books and magazines. They also had Christian music playing. There was a Bible in the waiting room and she was curious about what was in it. Even though her daughter thought it was stealing, Anne thought the doctor would not mind if she took the Bible home.

         When she was at home, she opened the Bible to the first page of the New Testament. As she started reading, she could not believe it! It was the genealogy of Jesus starting with Abraham.

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“A record of the genealogy of Jesus Christ the son of David, the son of Abraham: Abraham was the father of Isaac, Isaac was the father of Jacob, Jacob was the father of Judah and his brothers  . . .”   Matthew 1:1-2

         She knew those names! And the stories that went with them! She wept to see Jesus in the long line of her Jewish ancestors. As she read more, she was fascinated to find out that all of Jesus’s followers and his disciples were Jewish! The first church was Jewish and Jesus and his followers kept the Holy Days and went to synagogue.

        Shortly after this, her friend, Roxanne, invited her to church. When the preacher finished the sermon, he asked if anyone would like to give their life to Jesus, would they raise their hand. There were a thousand people in the church and Anne, who was shy and did not like having the attention on her, could not help herself this time. Her hand went up in the air. The Pastor called the people who raised their hands to walk down the long aisle to the front of the church so he could pray for them. Anne was one of three people. As Anne started to walk down, her friend came with her, and whispered to her, “I’m coming with you in case you faint.”

Photo by Jeff Drake

        Later she met with a staff member at the church who was a Jewish believer. He could relate to her angst about even walking into the church. The man gave her two books, A Case For Christ and The Complete Jewish Bible. She read both. The Bible did not have a divider between the Old and New Testaments. It continued to use the Jewish names for Jesus and his disciples. It was a smooth transition, and made the book one story, not two separate parts.

        Soon she met a Women’s Ministry leader, Karen, who agreed to teach Anne the basics of Christianity. She met with Karen every week for over a year, asking many questions and reading everything she could on the subject. Karen invited Anne to her church and she was pleased when she found out the Pastor there studied Messianic Judaism and had been to Israel many times. It made for a smooth welcoming for her.

       Since that time, she took the huge step and was baptized at her new church. She said before she felt lost, confused and empty in her life. Now she feels like a complete Jew. She realized Jesus (Yeshua in Hebrew) was who she was looking for all along. She has more purpose in her life. She no longer has to search for meaning in new age and self-help books. Her life makes sense now. Instead of searching, she prays and looks to the scripture for her answers.

                          She is still Jewish, only now she is complete in Yeshua.

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“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.”  Romans 1:16

 If you would like to read more from this series, 31 Days of Change, click here.

Mommy, I Think You Need God - Part 2

(This is Part 2 of my friend Amber's story. It is Day 7 in the 31 Days of Change  series. To read Part 1, click here. ) 

        "While I was in rehab some Christian women from a local church would come to the rehab and dedicate their time, money and resources to us addicts. And in response to their kindness, the addicts would steal, deceive and manipulate these women. I wanted the happiness, love and wholeness those women had. I started to believe in Jesus and God, and I wanted to learn more.

         I began to pray to God, not knowing how to pray except out of selfishness.  God answered my prayer once again.  I completed six months in rehab and Johnny faithfully took me in to live with him when I was done.  I lost all my material things, my home, all my clothes, credit, my car, everything!  It was okay though because my life was saved.  I have not had an urge for alcohol or cocaine since I completed rehab in February 2013.

         Marriage was still not an option. We lived together and I was going to the doctor to get contraceptive when I found out I was pregnant with our second daughter.

         In March of 2014, my four year old daughter was invited to Sagebrush Church. She absolutely loved the kid’s ministry and asked me if she could go the next weekend.  I agreed to go one time, but had no intention of going again. 

              One day my daughter said, “Mommy, I think you need God.”

          

           That absolutely broke my heart and I attended church the next weekend without John.  I was blown away by the love and kindness the volunteers in Kid’s Planet showed us, as well as the Greeters, the Pastor and other people at the church. Johnny was still making excuses not to go.  He saw changes in me. I was more patient and he saw how much our daughter loved church, so he attended the Easter service with us. We became regular attenders. I committed my life to follow Jesus and I saw my life transforming faster than when it spiraled down.  

         I do not exactly remember the sermon Pastor Todd preached, but it was about marriage.  We were embarrassed that we were living together and not married.  Every time I wanted to fill out the sheet to talk to the Pastor or wanted to dedicate the children to the Lord, it would eat me alive inside to know that we were not married and being so selfish. 

         On our Anniversary of five years of being together off and on, Johnny proposed.  This was about three months after starting to attend church. I said yes and we had his friend, who was ordained through the World Wide Web, marry us. We felt a huge sense of relief.  We immediately dedicated our girls to the Lord (without being ashamed). I was baptized about six months later, then started volunteering in the children’s ministry a few months after that.

         When we first started going to church we did not tithe. I was working as a restaurant manager and could not find a job as a Dietitian, which was demoralizing in my eyes. John and I had different bank accounts and we argued about money often. We spent money recklessly, and did not pay my loans or tackle our debt.  We made excuses not to tithe and have joint bank accounts because that would jeopardize our money, not being able to buy materialistic things.  I needed clothes, the girls needed clothes, we all are picky eaters etc.., John loved his video games, liked his toys, addicted to eBay, etc.…

         Then Todd did a message on budgeting and tithing.  The minute we heard that message I closed my bank account and joined John’s.  We became ONE! We started tithing, paying our bills and we have been blessed with more than enough money.  We are far from rich but we are able to pay our bills without fighting and give people money when we need too.  We can pay John’s mother now to watch our kids when before we could not. Jesus blessed me with the knowledge and skills to take an exam to become a Certified Diabetes Educator.  Life is absolutely amazing!  I can not explain how wonderful and unbelievable life seems ever since our family found GOD; all thanks to Sagebrush Church.

         Our home is centered on Jesus. Both of our girls know God and love him.  Every morning they ask us if we are going to Church.  Our oldest daughter always wants to stay for two or more classes! We listen to Christian music. I have become more knowledgeable about Jesus Christ and have started to grow with Him and walk my life everyday with Him. My life has totally changed since we decided to live for Him and follow what He says. I have purpose in life and I met a new family, my church family. I never knew love like this before."

“And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”  Matthew 18:3

 How about you? Do you have faith like a child? Isn't it inspiring to hear how God truly changes people lives?

                  (If you would like to read more stories of Changed Lives, click here.)

"Mommy, You Need God."

         Getting a spanking after mass, for not paying attention, gave my friend, Amber, a negative view of God and church at an early age. She viewed God as harsh and unloving. Amber grew up not knowing anything about the Bible, or about a Heavenly Father who loved her. Her life was centered on herself, her pleasure, her materialism, pride and arrogance. This lead her to a life of destruction.

        

Here is Amber’s story:

         “I was always around drugs and alcohol but never experienced using them until I was 23.  I started drinking at the clubs which led to cocaine use. I met Johnny my senior year of college when I started drinking and drugs. Quickly he moved in with me.  I was partying, not coming home and very destructive in our relationship.  Our relationship was toxic. He was controlling and we yelled at each other and fought often.

         After about a year of constant partying and cocaine use I got pregnant with our first child. Marriage was not an option, we lived together during my pregnancy and I was sober.

          My daughter was four months old when my life really spiraled down hill.  I was driving to Albuquerque from Santa Fe and was pulled over for drinking and driving.  I was arrested and the tow truck driver that impounded my car turned out to be a family friend. He called my mom to get my daughter before CYFD did. I stayed in jail for about two weeks.  My father was secretary of corrections at the time which compromised my life. I could have been killed if the other jail mates knew this.

         While I was in my addiction Johnny and my family begged me to go to rehab. I first refused because I did not want to leave my daughter. Also, I was so materialistic I did not want to lose my house and not be able to buy clothes, shoes and the things I wanted.  I was so prideful that I thought rehab was only for those who lived on the streets and did street drugs.  I figured I had an education and owned my own house. Why would I jeopardize my reputation?  I did not look at alcohol and cocaine as drugs. 

         Johnny and I were in a custody battle for our daughter.  I was alone. Nobody wanted me to care for her. He hired a lawyer to take her away from me.  After my DWI, I was facing felony charges as well as a DWI.  I did not care about the DWI charge, but was terrified of the felony charge.  After completing my dietetic internship there would be no way I would ever get a job as a Dietician if I was a felon.  I hired a lawyer and made a plea deal. I would have a conditional discharge of the felony as long as I did two years of supervised probation and my DWI would be a conditional discharge.  I took the plea. I was placed on house arrest for a month because my charge came with jail time; again my life was jeopardized going back to jail so I did house arrest.

         In March of 2012, Johnny, our daughter and I drove to Santa Fe to eat dinner.  Our daughter was about nine months old.  We were involved in a fatal DWI crash where two teenage sisters were killed in the accident. Two others were in critical condition and many hurt. One would think I would sober up and change my life after this accident but I did not, instead I played the victim role because I lost my car. I lost my lap top which had all my work to complete my internship. Then I started partying again while I was on probation.  Soon enough I violated my probation and was put in jail. 

         There was no other choice but to go into rehab. This time I finally turned to God and asked for help.  He answered my prayer, even though I only prayed selfish prayers when I was in trouble and was desperate for His help.  God blessed me by allowing me to go to a  rehab/transition home where I was able to take my daughter part-time.  I finally opened my eyes.  I was placed in a home with felony woman coming out of prison who had always lived a life on the streets, prostitution and drugs.  It was scary living there.  The women would do heroin and awful things while in the Rehab.  I was in shock.  Again my life was jeopardized because of my father’s position with the Corrections Department.  The staff and probation officers were aware of this and worked hard to protect me."

Have you ever been in a situation where you knew only God could get you out?     

How long have you done things your own way before coming to the end of your self and turning to God for help?

(Join me here tomorrow for Part 2 of Amber's story.)

This is part of a series called, 31 Days of Change. To read more stories of changed lives, click here.

 

Domino's Delivers More Than Pizza

       Paul’s story
 
     “One of my memories from childhood was my dad holding up a hammer after fixing a door and proclaiming proudly, “I am my own god.” That was about the only religious training I remember.
 
         Growing up my goal in life was to make myself feel good. In doing that I hurt a lot of people along the way. I believed I evolved from apes as I had been taught in school, so I lived like an animal. 

         Always very interested in the paranormal, I was fascinated with ghosts, demons and witch craft. I didn’t believe in God, but did believe in the paranormal, even in Satan. I believed when a person died, their existence was over, but I also believed in ghosts. I know that doesn’t make sense, but the Bible says the man without the Spirit is blind, and I was proof of that. I hung out with people who were witches, and performed séances, and I even read the Satanic Bible. There were things I did that I would much rather forget.

         The only Christians I  met were very annoying. They would stand on street corners or outside of bars and tell me I was going to hell. I figured I would rather be with my friends in hell than in heaven with people like them.
 
         I lived my life my way and (surprise!), I eventually I reached rock bottom. I received a medical discharge from the Navy, and had a hard time finding a job. I was cleaning carpets for a living, my marriage was falling apart, and I was living with my in laws. During this time, a pizza was delivered to the house, and I remembered I used to make about $15 an hour delivering pizza. 

 
         The next day I applied at Domino’s Pizza and was hired as a full time driver, and I met some interesting people. The people there were normal. They were not perfect, and didn’t act like they were. They knew me, and accepted and loved me as I was. But there was something different about them – they talked about Jesus like they knew Him. They said they talked to Him and it seemed like they had a real relationship with Him. That was the first time I ever saw Christian love in action. The funny thing was– the manager told me he had been praying for a couple of weeks that God would send him someone to witness to, and I walked in. That must have been the answer to his prayer.

 
         They explained that, although I was so messed up, Jesus died for me, and paid the price I should pay for my actions. They told me if I accepted what He did I would be forgiven and I could have a relationship with God. I wanted what they had. I wanted to be loved, accepted and forgiven. I wanted the peace and joy they had, so I finally accepted Jesus’ sacrifice.
 
         God has changed my heart, just like He said He would. I actually care about others now, and I now know what love really is. I have peace and joy, and a reason to get out of bed and live life. I still have a lot of problems, and am definitely not perfect, but I know two things: that God loves me, and He is working all things together for my good. I guess that is my story, and I thank God for it.”

What I love best about Paul’s story is the love his co-workers showed for him made him want what they had – a real relationship with Jesus.

Have you seen Christian love displayed like this? Have you shown this kind of Christian love for others?

If you would like to read more in this series 31 Days of Changed Lives, click here.