Sunday, October 19, 2014

Driving Into the Unknown

Welcome to Day 19 of Our Adoption Adventure. I am participating in a writing challenge at to write every day in October. If you would like to read from the beginning click here.

The phone jolted me upright in bed. It was 1:00am.
“Hello.” I answered.
“Hi, this is Emma’s sister. She wanted me to call and tell you the babies were just born and she wants you to drive here as soon as possible.” She said.
Adrenaline jarred me awake. “Is she okay? Are the babies okay?”
“Yes, they are all okay. She had to have a C-section though. They are finishing things up, but she wanted me to call you as soon as possible. Do you think you will be able to come right away?” She asked.
“Yes! Yes! Give us a few minutes to get ready and we will start driving right away.” My mind raced calculating how long it would take us to get everything ready and in the van.
“Okay, I will tell Emma you are on your way.” She said, as she was about to hang up.
“Oh wait! One more thing, are they boys or girls?” I asked.
“Both boys.” She said.
         Awesome! I could not believe they were here already! My mind raced. There was so much to do and I wanted to get to the hospital as fast as possible. I woke up my husband and told him the news. We quickly got ready, grabbed a few things and packed a bag to bring with us. I called my Mom to come stay with our older kids who were still sleeping. We left at 1:30am and weren’t able to say goodbye to them or Happy Birthday to our daughter.
         Once again her Birthday was interrupted, only this time, if all went well, we would bring home her baby brothers. I would have to think up a Plan B for the 12 girls coming to spend the night at our house with all the party activities I had planned for the next day.
         We were both so excited and rushed to get going quickly. We jumped in the van and took off in the dark. In our eagerness, we took the wrong highway and drove about half an hour in the wrong direction before we realized it. After backtracking and finding the right highway, somehow we were able to make up the time.

         On the three-hour drive to Emma’s town, we prayed together on the dark, deserted highway. We prayed for God’s will in the outcome. Not wanting to emotionally commit until the babies were truly ours, I had resisted buying a single baby item. It was hard because I am a planner and like to be prepared. But, part of the heartache of losing the baby girl during the last adoption was made worse because I bought a couple pink sleepers and tiny pink diapers.
         This time I was determined to stay on the deck of the the emotional pool. I was not going to jump in. On the drive up we discussed the need for two car seats and two outfits to bring them home in, IF we were going to bring them home. We decided to see the babies first and then find a store and buy the car seats there. My husband said, 
“If she decides not to place them with us, we will give Emma the car seats and the clothes as a gift. We care about Emma. If she changes her mind, we would want to give her baby gifts anyway. We will tell her there are no hard feelings, and we will drive home.”
         I swallowed the lump in my throat. That sounded like a good plan, I told myself. I should just count on that. We did care about Emma and wanted her to make the best decision for herself. We had not been part of an adoption yet, where the birth mother placed their child with us.
         It was heart wrenching to count on coming home with a baby and have the birth mother change her mind at the last minute. No, this would be safest. Plan on helping Emma and buying the car seats for her to take the babies home in. If she decided to place them with us, we would love them forever, as our own children. If not, there would be no hard feelings, I thought to myself, as I quickly wiped away a tear slipping down my cheek.
         Silently I prayed, “Lord, please let these boys be ours.”


--> Have you ever been in a situation where you had no idea what you were getting into? 
*** To read Day 20 click here.***


  1. I can't imagine the heartbreak involved in adoption.

    1. Melissa, the difficulties have made the end so much sweeter. It has been worth every rough spot we experienced. And God was with us every step of the way, guiding us and giving us strength.

  2. The unknown is so hard, but brings such sweet surprises!

    1. Yes. It is hard to see at the time, but looking back makes us so grateful.

  3. Oh wow, this gets me choked up. That really is a great idea though to donate the carseats. The babies would need the carseats either way. That's hard though after all you've been through. Such an amazing story.

    1. That was our way of blessing the birth mother and trying not to get our hopes us. We were trying to prepare ourselves to be okay if she did not place them with us.

  4. Gulp! I love the heart of wanting to gift her the car seats and clothing whether or not she released the babies to you! Can't wait to catch up on your series!

    Stopping by from the 31 days link up:

    1. Thanks Becky! Love reading your posts as well!

  5. I have a good friend who had several adoptions fall through - even up to the moment they were to take the baby home - and I remember too well how she felt these same feelings of trepidation on a subsequent trip (in which they brought home twins!). I like that you're using this 31 days to tell your story in a narrative style!

    1. Thanks Lisa! Your friend's story sounds just like ours! Thanks for stopping by!