The Decision

Welcome back to Day 26 of Our Adoption Adventure. If you are just joining and would like to read from the beginning, click here.

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         Emma’s mother began to lecture us. She started with how their family sticks together, supports each other and takes care of each other. She rambled on and on. I could not tell what the purpose of this talk was about. Was she softening the ground to tell us Emma had changed her mind? Or was she lecturing us about how to take care of the babies? It was impossible to tell. She talked non-stop. Emma sat holding one of the sleeping babies. Her long hair hung down on the baby as she stared at his face. 

         My husband and I were exhausted, emotionally spent and sleep deprived. We sat there and listened, hoping there was a point to it all. I started tuning out when she said,

        “I wish you could take one of the babies and Emma could keep one.”

         Surely that was not the plan. Emma told us on the first day we met her she would never separate them. I prayed silently, “Lord, what do you want us to do?  If you want these babies to come home with us You are going to have to do it.”

         Emma’s mother took a breath and I seized my chance to jump in.

         “Emma, we are not here to ruin your life. We are here because you called us and asked us to adopt these boys. We are only here to help you. If you have changed your mind, just tell us and we will drive home. There will be no hard feelings. We have two great kids and a wonderful life back home. We will not be upset at you. If you want us to adopt them, (I swallowed hard. No tears.) we will love them with everything we have. If you don’t want that, we will give you the car seats and we will go home. We are not here to cause you any pain. What do you want to do?”

         Still looking down at the baby in her lap, she mumbled something none of us could understand. The three of us froze not knowing what she said. I had to ask again,

         “We couldn’t hear you, Emma. What did you say?”

         Tears streaming down her cheeks, she looked up at us, 

         “I said I already made my decision.”

         Still nothing. We had no idea what the decision was. What was she saying?

It was my husband’s turn, “And what decision is that, Emma?”

         “I love these babies so much and I want the best life for them. I can’t do it. I can’t raise them by myself.” Then turning to face her mother, she continued, “Everyone says they will help me, but they don’t. I know because nobody helps with my daughter. I can’t do it Mom. This is the best decision.” She said between sobs.

         Her mom stood and turned to face her. 

        “If you do this you are no longer my daughter. Don’t come home. You are no longer welcome in our house!” Without looking at us she stormed out the door.

         Emma collapsed in a crying mess. I knelt beside her and held her in my arms, hugging her tightly like my own daughter. I tried to reassure her,

        “It’s okay Emma. You made the right decision. It’s going to be okay. We know you love these babies. You made the best decision.” 

         My husband slipped out to find the hospital administrators. The other baby in the bassinet started fussing and I reached in to pick him up. 

         In walked a heavily tattooed young man, with a shaved head, followed by one of the pregnant teen girls we saw earlier. They glared coldly at us as they walked toward me and Emma. He kissed the baby Emma was holding on the head. 

         “You are going to regret this,” he said to her. 

         I was standing next to Emma’s chair. He stepped toward me and touched the baby I was holding on the head. 

Glaring at me, he said under his breath, 

         “You better watch your back.” 

They turned and walked out the door.

         What was that?! What did he mean? What just happened and where was everybody else?

         My husband opened the door, followed by the two hospital administrators and the social worker. They placed the paperwork on a rolling hospital tray table and put it in front of Emma to sign. 

         I gave my husband the baby I was holding, and gently took the baby Emma was holding, so she could sign the papers.

         The hospital administrator read and explained to Emma that she was giving permission for us to take the babies out of the hospital. She asked Emma, 

         “Is this what you want to do?” Emma nodded her head.

         Then, in the bravest display of love I have ever seen, she took the pen and positioned it over the page. She stopped and held the pen above the paper for what seemed like forever. We held our breath. Slowly she put the pen on the paper and deliberately she began to sign her name. When she was finished, she broke down crying again. 

         I put my arms around her. The notary stepped forward and placed another paper in front of Emma. 

         “You need to sign this one also, since there are two babies.” 

           When she was finished, my husband and I, each holding a baby, hugged Emma and said goodbye. She kissed each baby and told them she loved them more than they would ever know. I hugged her tightly. 

         “I don’t want them to hate me,” she said.

         “They won’t hate you, Emma. I will tell them what an amazing mother you are and how much you love them,” I promised.

         We walked out with the nurse. The kind social worker stayed to comfort Emma. She told us she would take care of her, get her a place to stay and get her settled in. She wanted us to take the babies and leave as soon as possible.

         Back in our room the nurse helped us with the discharge instructions, gave us two diaper bags filled with bottles and diapers. We strapped the sweet babies into their car seats. Then the nurse said,

       “I’m going to call Security to walk you to your car. You are going to need it.”

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                          *** Click here for Day 27. ***