Meeting Birth Mother # 2

(This is Day 6 in 31 Days of Our Adoption Adventure. To start at the beginning click here.)

            Her grandmother called the church office. They were desperate. They were raising their 18-year-old granddaughter and her two children. She was eight months pregnant and finally decided to place the baby girl for adoption. The grandmother wanted to know if there was anyone at the church who was interested in adopting? She was referred to the director of our adoption agency, who called us and asked if we were interested.

            The positive was she was due in only four weeks. I told myself I could do anything for four weeks. She could give birth anytime. We wouldn’t have to wait so long, like the last time. At least some of their family were believers, so maybe this time would be easier. The negative was I was hesitant to get involved. I didn’t want to be disappointed again.

            The adoption director gave me the grandparent's phone number and said since I had plenty of experience with a birth mother, my husband and I could make the appointment and meet them by ourselves.

            I talked to the grandmother on the phone and she invited us to come to their house and meet their granddaughter that night. We arrived at the house and they welcomed us in. The grandparents had white hair and looked to be about 70. The grandfather was on oxygen. We stood in the large entryway of the pleasant house. The granddaughter, Shiya, was petite and under five feet tall. She was Asian and had long straight dark hair, and brown eyes. The only thing large about her was her belly. She looked like she could go into labor any day. She was stoic looking at us, almost glaring. She was not happy. With a scowl on her face, she did not say anything. The grandmother explained the situation.

            Shiya’s mother was a heroin addict. So, these grandparents had raised Shiya as their child her whole life. When she gave birth to a little girl three years ago, she wanted to keep her and raise her. She tried living with her boyfriend, the little girl’s father, off and on. The boyfriend was in a gang and also a drug dealer. When he was arrested or in jail, Shiya had no place to go, but back to her grandparent’s house. When she had her son eighteen months ago, the grandparents begged her to place him for adoption. She was determined to raise her son and her daughter, always hoping the boyfriend would stay out of jail and help her.

            Shiya was living with the boyfriend when she got pregnant for the third time. The grandparents did not know about the pregnancy, until Shiya showed up on their doorstep a few weeks ago. The grandparents said they could not continue to raise more of Shiya’s children and convinced her to place her unborn baby for adoption. While we were all standing in a circle in they foyer, the grandmother asked if we would take the 18 month old boy as well.

            My husband and I looked at each other in surprise. I told them we were planning on adopting two, so we were open to adopting the little boy as well. The whole time Shiya did not speak and looked suspiciously at us.

            Finally, my husband turned to her. “Shiya, is this what you want to do? Do you want to place your baby and little boy for adoption?”

“There is nothing else I can do. I can’t raise them by myself and they (pointing to her grandparents) don’t want to.” She said.

            The grandmother interrupted her, “It’s not that we don’t want to, honey. We are older and your grandfather is not in good health. We don’t have the energy to raise three little babies.” She said.

            About that time, the little boy walked in disheveled and barefooted, with a runny nose and his teeth clinched on an empty baby bottle. He walked past Shiya and stood next to the grandmother. She reached down and stroked his dark hair. “This is Zachary,” She said.

            My husband looked at me and raised his eyebrows. Our son’s name was Zachary also. This would be weird, we thought. Later we laughed at how we would introduce them.

“This is our one son Zachary and this is our other son Zachary.”

**Click here to continue and read Day 7.**